The Memoirs of Bell

2 Candles 1 Match.3GP

2011-07-07T22:40:00.000-04:00

genius.

Cook Out

2011-04-19T23:56:00.001-04:00

Recently Cook Out has come to Richmond and into my life. To those unfamiliar with Cook Out, its a drive thru joint that specializes in home style items.

In other words, its a Barbeque in a drive thru. Its kind of awesome. The problem is its too popular. Its got two lanes, but it is almost impossible to get a quick bite from there. With the lines you face, you will sit in traffic (not the queue from the lanes) but in actual traffic unable to get into the lines.

So heres some advice: go late night. And get a milkshake. But you already knew that.

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Sam Miller's Thursday Night Lobster Special

2011-02-05T13:22:00.001-05:00

A video review though I am looking a little rough here.

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Audio Blog: Does the Jungle Book have a Real Villain?

2011-01-11T22:32:00.003-05:00

For about 8 years I have asked the question: does the Jungle Book really have a villain?

Is Shere Khan really a villain? If a tiger acts how a tiger is supposed to act, is it wrong? Am I totally off base here? Thoughts? Id love to hear your input.

Dunn's BBQ Review

2010-11-21T23:11:00.003-05:00

Dunn's BBQ - A local Richmond, VA establishment.

Dunn's is located at

3716 Mechanicsville Tpke

Richmond, VA 23223-1332

(804) 329-4676

Listen to the review here

The JBell Challenge

2010-10-04T19:07:00.001-04:00

Here is the JBell Challenge:

Every day, for at least 7 minutes a day, do something for fun. Every. Single. Day.

I got the idea when I was kind of doing nothing. So every day I was preparing for a huge move and trying to find a job. So I would get through heaps of applications and then pack another portion of my possessions in boxes. Naturally I started… wait. Hold up. This isn’t about me.

You, go out. Go do something for fun. It doesn’t have to be an epic. It doesn't have to be forever. Pick a date/ time period. For the next 2 weeks, for the next 3 days I will do something fun. Here are some ideas:

·         Go to the library

·         Go to the park

·         Read for fun

·         Blog

·         Go to the pool

·         Go exercise

·         Get a milkshake/ ice cream Sunday

·         Email an old friend

·         Go to the pound

·         Call someone you haven’t talked to in a while

·         Listen to one of your favorite songs (or two)

So there it is. Post your activities in the comments section to give people more ideas as what they can do!

What's the worst that can happen? It shouldn't be hard to have fun!

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Owned: Samurai Showdown Anime

2010-08-03T10:45:00.002-04:00

Go to 7:22

Wow, that Gollum dude got bisected.

So Much to Say, Where Do We Start?

2010-08-01T23:31:00.002-04:00

Its been so long. I am feeling great. Had some adventures, some misadventures, and everything in between.

Its been so long Im not sure where to take this.

Ive got my ongoing series like Revision and Reclamation, Great Villains, and the Huge Head series. But I also have stuff I was in the middle of, like my Alien and Predator analysis. Things like that become complicated because now we have a new Predator movie and apparently its actually good too! I dont want to speak heavily on a moot point, or beat a dead horse.

So as I sit here, eating this hickory smoked corn on the cob, I ponder where to go next.

I do have some bigger plans, but they are more on the horizon. As far as right now? The only thing I can really think of doing is talking about how I prefer The Terminator to Terminator 2: Judgement Day.

So coming up next:

The Song of Edward Furlong, or, Why I prefer The Terminator to its Sequels

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah

2010-06-13T09:39:00.001-04:00

I know. I havent been posting. Still want to, just cant justify it yet. August I will start up again, hopefully debuting some big new stuff.

chipMAN still has a huge head.

2010-05-31T21:45:00.000-04:00

I think this one should speak for itself

Celebrity Morph by MyHeritage

2010-04-18T12:23:00.001-04:00

MyHeritage: Celebrity Morph - Blank family tree - Genealogy research

Revision and Reclamation: Wolverine

2010-04-12T00:20:00.006-04:00

There comes a time when a major franchise or intellectual property makes a substantial alteration in its path. Sometimes the change is allowed to happen in an almost natural fashion leading to increasingly compelling drama and storytelling. One cant help but to think of some of our favorite moment in literature, cinema, and drama and be reminded of how often those moments are the culmination of scenes, foreshadowing, and of course, appropriate dramatic build up.

However, we also are reminded of flat scenes, broken dialogue, and forced tension manufactured by some of our least favorite scenes or worse, scenes to which we are indifferent. Quite frequently a sequel takes a series into a bizarre direction at the expense of quality or a ending fails to cap off a story. With some changes, flubs and near misses can achieve their potential and reclaim their place in our hearts.

I started doing R&R on the X series for a lot of reasons. I just never finished it. The problem with that series is that there is just so much good and bad with the series and the X universe is a hard one to pin down to start with. What do you change, what can you change? What can you explore without losing the audience.

How many X series are there now and over the last 40 or so years. Uncanny Xmen, Xmen, Xtreme Xmen, at least 3 XForce books, XFactor, New Xmen, Astonishing Xmen and then you get into solo books like Wolverine, Cable, and the like.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_the_X-Men_comics

Its honestly staggering. I have to give credit where its due. In 2000, the action movie landscape and in particular the comic book movie were totally different. I think they were different because people were clinging to old notions of what makes a movie successful and lack of vision. But I digress.

Spoilers ahead

Wolverine kind of suffers from lack of inspiration. It doesnt really serve any purpose. Nothing really new is introduced. No key characters are introduced, nor are they killed off. Its a very very mediocre "Elseworlds" story.

Like I said in the review, there is some good stuff in the movie. Not enough to be memorable. What actually made me think to make this post is how much good stuff is there really? There is a really great fanmade trailer for a Thundercats movie that is brilliant. It sends chills up my spine, makes me want to see the actual movie, and want to see this done with other properties.

Honestly, if I had the technical knowhow and maybe the actors available for voiceovers (not even re-shoots) I could make a great 60 minute pilot for a Wolverine TV show from splicing footage from the 4 Xmovies. I mean Dark Knight great.

But what to do with the movie itself? Honestly it doesnt "move the ball at all." So you dont really have to do anything. You could "Incredible Hulk" it and make a sequel that doesnt really relate and no one would bat an eye. You could try to follow up Wolverine, but really, where do you go with it? Nothing is set up in the movie that wasnt already set up by X2. Well, lets be honest, nothing intresting is set up by Wolverine. For example, Sabertooth for all purposes is a functioning human being in Wolverine while in Xmen, hes a mute brute. You could try to explain that, but its not exactly a story thats begging to be told. Sure, the comic fan is wondering why the hell he is mute, but its more of a question for the director to answer for than the movies.

To know where to go forward with this IP, we have to understand what worked and what failed.

Before you get to stuff like characters, roles, and things like that we have to figure out what makes Wolverine work. What makes the series Wolverine work. When does it really roll? When is the time when Wolverine is enjoyed the most and its at its creative highpoint.

Wolverine as a book runs concurrently with other X books. Sometimes its really great because some blockbuster event has just occured that rocks the XUniverse but Wolverine is off in some remote corner of the globe doing something unrelated. Other times its great to see the effects of those events on someone who has become such a loner/rogue.

Further, Wolverine by nature of his powers is a character who it is hard to put in true peril. Its no coincidence that some of his greatest rivals are characters who have the ability to outlast him, negate his powers, or regularly endanger his closest friends (sometimes all 3).

Wolverine doesnt really work when you make him less mysterious. Nearly everytime the his history is filled in with large details, its clumsy and ends up being uninteresting. Nothing more so that the Wolverine: Origin book. Mega hyped. Ended up being rather insignificant all while ending much of the mystery that is better left untold.

Here it becomes kind of evident the problem in making a Wolverine origin movie, that shows an actual origin. If you have to show the origin, we have to see it after the fact, learning it in pieces and piecing those things together in a compelling manner. Its because of this that a better story might take place after the 3rd Xmen movie. After the 3rd Xmen movie, there has got to be a ton of fallout as ripples from the conflict would be rocking the world. We could see the world changing through the eyes of a familiar character as he searches the world for clues to his past. This of course would be a tonal shift from the previous movies as they are light on filling in the details of their world.

I guess then you have a few real options.

Try to do a story with Wolverine in the present chasing down details on his past.
Do a totally unrelated story with Wolverine wandering the earth.
Write a story that relates closely with the Xlore but doesnt necessarily fill the blanks as to Wolverine's past.

When I put it down to words like that I guess you could argue the Wolverine movie tried to do all that. Then I would argue that they botched the execution.

1. Try to do a story with Wolverine in the present chasing down details on his past.
Their story took place entirely before the Xmovies and kind of confusingly so. We see some characters who we might know from the Xlore, but because the other movies didnt establish a universe we cant really know what time this takes place. We have some hints. For example, we get that really sweet montage in the intro that takes us from civil war up through the Vietnam War. Everything in the movie has to take place before X1 because we see a young Cyclops and a walking Prof X. Having never really mentioned a cause for his paralysis, or even Cyclops's kind of crucial pre-Xavier upbringing, these things really dont serve any grander purpose.

Further, we dont get to appreciate any kind of passage of time or advancement of tech. We go from Vietnam to stealth missions. It doesnt feel like we are in a older era at all. There arent even retro songs playing to establish the era. The tech level is all over the place. I think this is actually pretty relevant. Part of the Wolverine lore is the fact that Wolverine is a living breathing scientific phenomenon. When we get into the Weapon X program, it should feel like they are doing things that are pretty remarkable. You could argue that making Weapon XI amounts to high science (SCIENCE!) but it sounds kind of silly. "lets combine all these mutant powers and make a super mutant!!@!@11!!"

Not that Weapon X is all that plausible, but it fits the Wolverine story far better than some remote controlled mutant mimic thing.

2. Do a totally unrelated story with Wolverine wandering the Earth.

The Wolverine movie was so fixated on trying to stick to the "origin" story it missed out maximizing on maybe the only real dramatic tension in the movie: the lady in peril. Wolverine's lore is loaded with stories of women he meets and has an attraction with only to see her get hurt, estranged, or betraying Wolverine. Its a classic storyline, it doesnt need much to get the audience believing in it.

Plus, since the story had to fit into the mold of a prequel it could only end in one manner. Wolverine had to lose his memory and end up alone, so you end up with the amnesia bullets and killing off everyone.

3. Write a story that relates closely with the Xlore but doesnt necessarily fill the blanks as to Wolverine's past.

I think you could have done a sort of mutant buddy cop movie and it would have been far far more memorable than what we got. Wolverine and Deadpool, Wolverine and Sabretooth, Wolverine and Cyclops (even if he is dead), Wolverine and Magneto, etc.

The story as is doesnt really amount to much. Its kind of related to the Xuniverse, kind of. It has characters with similar names to some of the characters in the comics. Carlyle from Spill.com pointed out that this is a remake of Universal Soldier. I dont disagree, but its a crappy remake of Universal Soldier.

Maybe if you had vision, you could do a series of movies that accomplish all three. Wolverine leaves the mansion to chase a lead on his past to get caught in a seemingly innocuous adventure which leads him back to the people he was tracking down originally. Or something like that.

So maybe next time we look at characters/casting and we will pick out some story elements more specifically. Actually, Im going to lay out a course for a few new movies resting firmly on the shoulders of the previous X movies.

Wiz Wrap Up

2010-03-22T16:49:00.000-04:00

This 2009-2010 season was a disaster. Admittedly somewhat surprising. I expected a return to at least .500 and possibly higher. It wasnt just me though. I remember reading articles in preseason with similar expectations.

The team never played up to that. Part of that is just that the East is just better than it has been over the last 5-6 years. Part of it was the same problems that the team had from before hadnt been cured. The real shocker I suppose was even with the big trade that totally shook up the rotation, the team still played pretty much the same.

And you end up blowing the team up, fairly thoroughly.

The only people on the roster with deals that run past this year are:
Andrae Blatche
JaVale McGee
Al Thorton
Nick Young
and Gilbert Arenas

I hate to say it, but I dont think that this was set up this way, though you shoudlnt look a gift horse in the mouth.

Even with Gil on the cap next year, I think you end up with something like over $25M in cap room. If Gil's contract is somehow voided, or he is moved, you are looking at around $40M in cap. Unbelieveable

Then a lottery pick, and a late 1st, and then a 2nd.

This would be a really sweet arrangement if the front office wasnt still reeling from the death of Abe Polin. No one really knows if the Wiz will be able to make major moves. The future is wide open.

Saw this Picture of Mike Jordan...

2010-03-21T19:26:00.003-04:00

A few things:

That might be the same jacket as that legendary TO meltdown announcement:
Is MJ rocking a Hitler Moustache?

Wiz post part 2: Electric Boogaloo

2010-03-13T23:10:00.000-05:00

My Wiz post lost cohesion towards the end. The point I was trying to make was that the problems of the team couldnt be traced to one player. Its the particular assemblage of players which was the problem. My whole point about bringing up how well the team played without Gilbert Arenas and with Antonio Daniels at the helm was to show the real problem with the team.

Collecting players (some very talented) without any real direction. Maybe that is a bit harsh. What I mean to say is that the player acquisition didnt really seem to address team needs.

Heres what the team's key stats were for the last few years.

*This was the year Daniels ran the point and Gil sat out all year

Lets run a hypothetical situation. Lets say you were the GM of that Washington team coming out of the 04-05 year, essentially a .500 team. Here are some points you might try to improve on:

Creating a positive point, assist, and rebound differential
Increasing FG%, reducing opponent FG%
Increasing TO differential

Now, its totally unfair to say "look, they didnt improve on it this season." So I wont say that. What I will say is look at the general non improvement in all of these key stats and key points. Of course, its not like there were no moves made. I will give some credit to Ernie Grunfeld, he did try to make some moves. And lets not forget he traded Kwame Brown for Caron Butler, only bested by Kwame Brown for Pau Gasol.

05 offseason - Brown for Butler. Though it may not address the needs you have, the upgrade in talent is just too much to pass up. Great move. In the draft they pick up Andray Blatche in the 2nd round. Another good move. The other picks were used in the trade for Antawn Jamison (a debatably good move). Losing Steve Blake and Juan Dixon was tough, but tried to compensate with signings like Antonio Daniels and Chucky Atkins.

06 offseason - Bring in Darius Songaila, a solid big man. Probably not the right fit though. Hes more of a face up, jump shooter than the inside presence, offensively and defensively the Wizards lacked. Also brought in DeShawn Stevenson for a remarkably low fee. Were either of these guys the best move to address the team's deficiencies? Probably not, though neither were bad moves. The team lost Jared Jeffries but brought in Roger Mason. The draft that year is puzzling. Instead of bringing in someone who could jump in and contribute right off the bat, the Wiz drafted 2 European big men, Olexsiy Pecherov and Vladimir Veremeenko. Neither were free to join the Wizards because of contracts that had not expired. First, its always a gamble on whether international players can make the jump, maybe even more so than the college players. Second, its a gamble as to if they can legally come over and play. Pescherov would come over the next year and average 9 minutes per game for the wizards. Veremeenko has yet to suit up for an NBA team.

07 offseason - Like I said above, Pesh made the jump. Lost Jarvis Hayes to Detroit. No free agent additions. Added 2 players in the draft, Nick Young and Dominic McGuire. Both guys I liked. However, even at the time I was puzzled by the addition of another wing player instead of a inside player or a point guard in the first round in Young. If Young really was the best player or at least what they scouted as the best player available, I have no problem here. However, I remember talks about how Gilbert Arenas had leaned on the team to pick Young over anyone else. All in all, I like both these players individually, but Im not sure they were the right picks, even at the time for the team.

08 offseason - Gilbert Arenas opted out of his deal. The team resigned him (while still injured) to a 6 year $110M contract. The team also resigned Jamison to a 4 year, $50M deal. The team let Roger Mason walk despite him filling in well for Arenas while he was injured (http://www.basketball-reference.com/teams/WAS/2008.html, look at Mason's numbers). Again, I will not stoop to saying "they should have made this move." What I am saying is facing the situations they were facing, these were dubious moves as it were.

being a consistent .500 team, giving a 32 year old player a 4 year contract
being a consistent .500 team, giving an injured but undeniably skilled player a 6 year $100M deal who made it known he would opt out during the year.

These are the moves of a contending team, not a .500 team. In a way, this is commiting to being a .500 team. (clearly everyone wants to be great, Im not saying eyes were set on being .500). The team also extended Coach Eddie Jordan's contract. Again, you might say this was committing to being .500 but there is something to be said about continuity in the coaching.

During the 08-09 year - Not an offseason move but Antonio Daniels was traded for Mike James and Javaris Crittenton.

The team also then fired Coach Jordan. I was all for looking elsewhere for a new coach. However, once you extend a coach for a year, you cannot then turn around and fire him. To a large extent, the losing that season was not his fault. (look to this year, new coach, new players, same problems for the most part) It points to total uncertainty of direction in the front office.

09 offseason - The draft was another confusing one. The first rounder was Javale McGee, another 7 footer. I dont think anyone has huge problems with this pick. The 2nd rounder was an injured Bill Walker, traded instantly to Boston for cash. A little odd for a team with depth problems to trade young players without seeing if they can contribute.

New Coach! Flip Saunders? yeah, Flip Saunders. One of my favorite coaches. But, I wouldnt have said "Flip Saunders will take this team to the promised land." Honestly, I think Flip is a great coach, but a poor fit here. Hes not really a huge defensive guy, more about the offensive end. The team really didnt have a huge problem scoring. I think he might bring a different look in the end from Eddie Jordan. Jordan's Princeton offense too often ended up with quick jumpshots with only Haywood to battle for rebounds. Honestly, it wasnt too different. Which puzzled me. Here is the only place I will say "they should have made a different move."

Avery Johnson. The guy that made the Mavs (the original Suns) play defense. I think thats just the obvious move here that no one even made a rumor about him being contacted about coming to Washington. Again, I have to question the office here.

So finally we will wrap up with the big trade this year and looking to next year.

Why not the Wizards too?

2010-03-13T22:22:00.000-05:00

So the Wiz season ended up a little different than they hoped.

Honestly, it was a little bit shocking. This is essentially the same team that went to the playoffs 4 years in a row. Maybe this is part of the problem. I think if you got the roster that is winning significant things, you are right to keep the thing together mostly undisturbed.

I guess the example would be something like the 90s Bulls, the 2000 Spurs, and other teams that were winning multiple championships within a few years.

If your team isnt going anywhere fast, you probably should "blow it up" or at least make major moves to look to the future. The Boston Celtics of today didnt get there by standing still for example.

Following a 33-49 win season with a 25-58 one, the Celtics had problems. They made some huge moves which at the time were not guaranteed to pay off. Honestly, they traded alot of future in order to "win now" if that makes sense.

Traded the rights to Green, alongside with Delonte West and Wally Szczerbiak, to the SuperSonics for Ray Allen and the rights to Glen Davis... trade was made. For Garnett, the Celtics traded Al Jefferson, Gerald Green, Sebastian Telfair, Ryan Gomes, Theo Ratliff, a 2009 first round draft pick, and cash considerations.

Usually those kinds of moves are much maligned because the obsession with getting younger constantly. 5 younger players and 2 role players with a draft pick for 2 players around 30 and a young big man. In fairness, they had an all star already in Pierce and you cant really pass up the chance at signing a player like Kevin Garnett along with Jesus Shuttlesworth. And they rolled to a championship. So it worked at least in the short term.

So the Wizards go from being a .500 team to a basement team. And Ernie Grunfield (Wiz GM) decides to keep it together, signing an injured Gilbert Arenas to a near maxout deal, extending Caron Butler, then resigning a 32 year old Antawn Jamison to a 5 year deal. Now, as a Wizards fan I was admittedly happy about keeping the team together. They were fun to watch, at times looked great, and there was the optimist case. Optimistically, the idea was that we never saw what the team could do when everyone was healthy. Sky was the limit.

The pessimist says "who says they will ever get healthy." And end the end they were right-ish.

The realist says "healthy or not, they were just a .500 squad." Shouldnt they be trying to upgrade the team? Dont get me wrong, they had some great moments. Big wins over Detroit, Cleveland, LA, Phoenix, and Boston. Multiple All Stars, All Star Coach. Etc.

And they kind of tried I guess. Bringing in Darius Songaila and Antonio Daniels, drafting Nick Young, and hanging onto Deshawn Stevenson. I dont really think any of these players are total scrubs. Even the other players who were just on the roster were bums (as a Pescherov fan I refuse to call him a scrub): Mike Ruffin, Jarvis Hayes, Roger Mason Jr and others. I dont think it was lack of talent

I think the problem was probably two-fold. First, the team didnt really seem to fit together. Im not talking about chemistry. Gilbert Arenas for all the knocks on his game, can be an all star caliber player. If you lose an all star, you should feel the effects of losing him. However, the Wizards lost him for 68 games the 07-08 season and went 43-39, 2 wins better than the year before. This is puzzling. Arenas's minutes went to Daniels and Mason. While neither are the player he is/was, the team did just as good, arguably better.

A team playing with less operational talent, plays just as well? Perhaps talent isnt additive always. Like other sports, every player brings their own skills and weaknesses. It is pretty clear that this is the case in basketball. A team of slashers will peak sooner than a team of slashers and shooters.

If I broke down the Wiz roster over the last 5 or so years Id point out that the pieces dont really seem to fit. Theres a pretty clear lack of inside presence. Ill defend Brendan Haywood all day and night as its not really his fault (Ill get to that later). Though there are some solid shooters, there isnt really a dead eye from long range on the team. And finally, there isnt a pure distributor outside of Daniels.

Id have to say that I am not shocked by the team playing better without Arenas. I dont think that has to do with Arenas so much as the makeup of the team. If Jamison, Butler, or another perimeter starter had gotten hurt and his role was filled by Daniels you probably would have seen the same effect. What I mean to say is that the team really isnt put together too well/wasnt really put together too well. With an emphasis on offensive players and scorers (rather than shooters [both have their value]) and a clear lack of inside depth, this is a recipe for a .500 team. I dont mean to say the management was totally inept, at .500, there is half the league wishing they could be you. But .500 can be a plateau, and I think its because of the lack of serious moves that made the Wiz plateau, rather than ascend.

I think Ill do a part two.

Nic Cage: Ol' Faithful

2010-03-05T08:19:00.005-05:00

If you didnt know, Nic Cage makes a ton of movies. IMDB has 63 entries for him as an actor, 2 are TV entries. He started acting in 1981. That means for his 29 year career so far, hes made over 2 movies per year, culminating without question in the remake of The Wicker Man. But when you take so many projects so frequently, you will come upon some real gems.

A few come to mind: Con Air, Next, Ghost Rider, Knowing, and Gone in 60 Seconds.

Apparently this year hes going to bless the screen with 4 films. 2 of those are nuggets called The Sorcerer's Apprentice and Season of the Witch. I understand in the former he plays an apprentice to a sorcerer set in modern times. Im sure wackiness will ensue. In the latter he plays a knight in the 14th century I believe. I honestly dont know which of the two movies this picture is from but you can count on Ol' Nic Cage to deliver the goods like this:

Nic Cage in medieval gear including pointy shoes, just walking around in a cloak, and the Iron Sheik's wrestling boots.

But we dont just take here on the blog. Lets give something back to the internet:

Great Villains: Megatron

2010-02-28T14:40:00.000-05:00

(I will only be talking about Megatron from the G1 animated series)

Megatron might be the first villain I ever enjoyed. As a child, your understanding of hero and villain is simple. You cheer for the good guy because hes good and you cheer against the bad guy because hes bad. Sure, every now and again you see a switch. Bad guy/good guy team up (a la GI Joe and Cobra vs. drugs). You might see a bad guy redeem himself and join the good fight or you might see a good guy give into evil. But early on, its pretty simple. Good vs. Evil.

I remember at times actually being ok with Megatron winning. I cheered against the Decepticons, as there were too many Autobots I enjoyed. I cheered for Optimus Prime (who should have a monument erected in his honor hes so heroic). But I dont remember hating Megatron. Like we talked about, sometimes a great villain is one you enjoy watching be villainous. At the same time, I knew Megatron wasnt harmless. Megatron meant bad things for nearly all living things as he was a conqueror through and through. But I liked when he was on screen. Of course, being the foil to Prime makes it a little easier to be a great villain, but theres more to it than just that.

Ill be a little more specific.

First, I have to talk about the superficial stuff. He looked cool. Normally the villain is clad in black, deep purple, off shades of green. Megatron was instead adorn in white and grey. So right off the bat he is pretty special as far as villains go.

He also had one of the sweetest voices in the history of voices (http://megaexcellent.ytmnd.com/). As awesome as Prime's voice is, Megatron's might have been even better. Every transformer had that digitally altered voice that sounded just great with a few that truly stand out. But Megatron's voice wasnt incredibly deep, but it lent itself to Megatron's calm menace, perhaps even a nobility that we would pick up on throughout the series. Megatron could be absolutely threatening and never get truly upset and theres something about that which is possibly more threatening than if he had lost his temper and thrown a fit.

His form, not necessarily his look was also pretty different and significant. Every transformer had weaponry and the ability to turn into some kind of earthly machine. Megatron's weapon was a massive cannon that was grafted onto his forearm. This gun, a fusion cannon sounded obscenely powerful and every time he pointed that gun at someone else they quivered in fear and it felt like their fears were justified. Further, when every transformer was turning into jeeps, trucks, jets, and the like, Megatron turned into a Walther P38 with a rifle stock. A guy with a mega powerful gun, turned into another gun that was somehow more effective. Theres something menacing about that. Not to mention, most people would recognize that gun as being the sidearm of choice of the Nazi Military, inherently uncomfortable for all western viewers.

I have to mention the Megatron was incredibly cunning. He always had some new plan or scheme, not just to win the day, but to annihilate all the Autobots, or steal control of the entire planet, or somehow get to Cybertron for reinforcement. I remember watching the episode where Megatron challenge Prime to gladiatorial combat, the loser to be exiled with his respective army from earth. Of course Prime accepted, as expected. However, no one knew that Megatron had found a way to siphon all the power from his army and absorb it, allowing Megatron to be a literal one man army.

Everyone has heard the saying "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." Megatron lived by this. He surrounded himself with some powerful allies, Soundwave, Thundercracker, Shockwave, The Constructicons (and thus Devastator), and others. So when the Decepticons rolled in you knew it was serious business. He also had Starscream who was almost just as cunning as Megatron himself. Incredibly powerful in his own right, Starsceam had visions of taking control of the decepticons even if that meant killing Megatron. By hook or by crook, nothing would deter Starscream. Constantly Starscream would try anything, open challenges, mutiny, subterfuge, whatever had the slightest chance of working to usurp Megatron's control. The great thing was, Megatron knew this. Every single time Starscream was in the later stages of his plans for takeover hed spring it on Megatron only to be blown away that Megatron not only survived the attack, but somehow had sniffed out the plot, and some time before set his own plan into motion without Starscream ever having a clue of what was really going on. Rather than turning Starscream into a bitter unfocused soldier, it kept Starscream in check and Megatron was able to use him effectively against the Autobots. Friends close, enemies closer.

I dont like to spoil things, but I dont think you can talk about Megatron without talking about Galatron. If you havent seen the animated Transformers movie, dont continue.

SPOILERS AHEAD

When Prime and Megatron finally have their fight to the death, there is this brilliant exchange where Starscream finally gets his victory over a dying Megatron. Megatron gets turned into Galvatron, who Im not sure if I enjoy more or less than Megatron. Anyways, Starscream is having this opulent coronation ceremony when Galvatron barges in and ruins the party. Despite it not being possible, Starscream knows somehow he has not escaped Megatron's wrath.

Megatron? Is that you?

End Spoilers

Megatron, maybe the first villain I loved. Unconventional, Intelligent, Powerful, Cunning, and Menacing. A great entry int he Great Villains series.

Oh, good for you.

2010-02-13T13:30:00.000-05:00

Oh, good for you sound bite Christian Bale sound bites

A Medieval War of Hate

2010-02-11T10:21:00.002-05:00

Recently, Ive scaled back my hate. Not a moratorium, more like a diet of hate.

In my neighborhood there are small one level homes complete with small yards. Prior to the superbowl, someone felt compelled to support the Colts as many fans did. They constructed a moderately sized igloo/castle from the snow. When I say Moderately sized I mean you could most likely stand up comfortably inside it. (lets say its got a radius of 7 feet and a wall height of 6 feet)

Adding to this igloo, the engineers of this mighty structure added blue food coloring. In the side facing the road they wrote "Go Colts" in large lettering. I hated only in passing, curious as to what would happen were the Colts to lose.

Immediately after the game, I drove past this Colts monument and saw Saints shirts draped over the side of the Ice Fortress. Though I chuckled, it was not enough. Still, my hate diet wouldnt allow direct action.

Today I drive past the ice ramparts to find a 20 foot pole impaling the igloo at a 45 degree angle. At the end of this lance were 3 Saints shirts. I can only imagine that someone made what can only be described as a lance, rode a horse like a medieval knight, and impaled the ice castle.

I cant really hate on that.

From the Vault: The Dogs of War

2010-01-27T00:52:00.004-05:00

So I present to you, From the Depths of the Vault...

The Dogs of War, based off a book of the same title.

I first remember encountering this movie when I was younger in the blockbuster. As a youth I never realized just what this movie was. Christopher Walken, Tom Berenger in a movie about coup d'etat in a fictional African nation.

Im there.

I dug this movie. Sure its dated. Sure its kind of playing one some archetype characters. Sure its incredibly formulaic. But its done pretty well.

A British company discovers some kind of mineral deposits in the fictional nation of Zangaro in Africa. The current ruler of the nation is hostile to outside business ventures, so they hire Christopher Walken (mercenary) to pretend hes a photographer of birds and test the stability of the government.

As soon as he sets foot in this country, things go awry. But this is also where the movie takes its own course. Youd expect Walken to get in over his head, maybe join up a revolution, and lead a coup himself. Instead, Walken gets captured and beaten brutally despite giving a good cover story. Beaten savagely he return back to the States and deals with the repercussions of such a terrible beating. Basically, they throw in some elements about a failed love but it really starts going when they give Walken the chance to lead a coup himself, funded by a near blank check by this British company.

He accepts. But it doesnt turn into the final scene of Commando. No, its about getting a force, planning, getting weapons, a ship, etc. I found it really refreshing because its not a straight up bad action movie. It give you a real motivation for that last action sequence. In fact, that last action sequence is pretty down to earth minus one factor we will discuss.

Cool thing here: One of the guys in Walken's group is Al Bundy. Yeah, Al Bundy. Really cool to see him.

Another guy was Tom Berenger, yeah. Sniper, The Substitute. And hes pretty good here too.

Walken is really good I felt. Hes great at playing a guy whos already a bit off from his experiences. Put his character through an inhumane beating, you get Chris Walken as we know him.

Ok, last thing Ill talk about. Walken buys this gun. The one from the poster. Its a shotgun. A multi shot, automatic shotgun, with a 20+ shell magazine. AND IT SHOOTS EXPLOSIONS. Not that it shoot stuff that explodes. It is fired into water? Explosion. Shoots a wall? Explosion. It fires explosions. You know where I remember this gun from? Turok, its the gun from Turok 64!

And it didnt detract from the movie. That last sequence is such an all out battle its totally different in pace from the rest of the movie, but its still got the same tone. Leads up to a sweet ending too which I wont spoil.

The real reason I want to chronicle this in the Memoirs is because its a Pre-80s action flick. Now, technically its an 80s movie. But it doesnt have the flavor of the mid and late 80s. Theres no superhuman hero here, shirt off, oiled up, with infinite ammo codes turned on his game genie. Dont get me wrong, that last action sequence has a ton of explosions, high kill count, more explosions, and Walken causing all kinds of havok. But its different

Walken has to deal with getting ammo for his troops, stealth, and he even has to reload, frequently. There wasnt the bombastic soundtrack with power drumming, synthesizers, and wailing guitars. Walken faces an army, with another army, bolstered by high talent mercenaries. Not exactly Jon Matrix killing an Army with saw blades and sharp pipes. I wonder if this movie isnt the last or at least representative of the last old action movie before we got stuff like Rambo 2, Commando, and all the other classic 80s actioners.

I like this movie alot. Recommend to anyone looking to see a solid actioner. Im torn though, because to me it does represent a different era of film. Dont get me wrong. I love the 80s actioners. I grew up on them, I just bought Commando on DVD. But theres alot of crappy actioners that probably could have tried to follow more the example of this movie and held off on things like one liners and an invincible hero. I wonder what action movies would be like today with more movies like these.

Sherlock Holmes Audio Review

2010-01-25T19:03:00.000-05:00

Avatar IMAX Audio Review

2010-01-17T23:50:00.003-05:00

If this is well received I will do more of these:

Celebrity Morph by MyHeritage

2010-01-03T02:19:00.001-05:00

MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celebrity

Celebrity Morph by MyHeritage

2010-01-03T02:17:00.001-05:00

MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celebrity

Anniversary! kind of...

2009-12-30T19:24:00.003-05:00

So we did 1 full year of posting! Wow, its been fun. I wanted to hit 100 posts but I didnt want to have a bunch of short blurbs with no meaty material. Yeah, its a day late but sue me. So here we are. Uh.

How bout lets recap some of my favorite stuff I encountered this year. Remember, this isnt necessarily stuff that came out this year, but stuff I encountered this year. This isnt my best of, nor will I likely do a best of, this is my favorite stuff of the year.

The Boys and Girls Guide to Getting Down - Its a mocumentary about pretty much being in your 20s in LA. One of the funniest movies Ive ever seen. Dont worry, you dont have to be in your 20s, nor ever been in LA to think its funny. Prepare yourself for non gross out humor about the interaction between the sexes and getting down. And if you do see it, dont ruin the cameo at the end. Every person I show it to says its hillarious. Problem is, I cant find anyone who knows about it. This thing came out in 2006, but NO ONE knows about it. I think its an incredibly clever movie that you should go out of your way to see. So go see it.

Drive In Movie Theatre - I finally went to a drive in. I had a blast. I saw two moving turds on screen and still had a blast: GForce and GI Joe.

Custom Suits - Nothing is quite the sensation of a custom suit. Im addicted.

Castle Crashers - If you have an XBox, you should have Castle Crashers. 4 player side scrolling beat em up. Tons of fun, good unlockables, get it.

Haloumi Cheese - The cheese that grills. You put it on a grill, it doesnt melt, it browns. Pure delicious.

Passing to the Running Back - Running backs are great at running with the ball. Why not get them the ball as they are on the run, sometimes with no one marking them, or only with (poor tackling) corners to beat.

Corn Tortillas - Once I started toasting them, I never sought out flour again. For now.

Lets Play Videos - So there are games that I missed out on. Some of these games I most likely will never get to play for lack of supply. People do these lets plays where they play through the game. Some people give voice over commentary. Clearly this isnt for everyone. But its kind of nice watching an entire level and deciding if I need to play a game or if I can just watch a few short Lets Plays and experience the best parts of a title. Some are plain funny. Others bring out nostalgia as you see someone use similar or entirely different tactics to pass a difficult section of a game.

Spill - I told you about these guys. 4 guys and a Robot reviewing movies. Since then Ive discovered that they do 3 podcasts a week talking about news in movieland, comic books, and bullshit. Yeah, my favorite show on the site is called Lets Do This where they profess to only discuss bullshit. Its great.

The Spoony Experiment - I cant recommend TSE enough. Im not even going to write too much. Here is his own description of the site. Check out his review of Yor: Hunter from the Future and his Lets Play of the first stage of Swat 4. Genius. If you dont like it, its probly not for you

AT4W - There were alot of comic books that I hated when I was younger. Even now there is stuff that I see that I doubt the quality of. Atop the 4th Wall is essentially documenting the highs and lows of comicdom. Well written show. If you have any interest in the entertainment industry or comic books, give it a shot.

Finally, my favorite crappy movie of the year.

Southland Tales - A 2006 release. Im not sure what to say here. Unlike something like the Wicker Man which I recommend to everyone. I cant recommend this to anyone. Its such a total misfire that its got some entertainment value in just watching it misfire on nearly every possibly level. There are comedy bits which are poorly done, serious bits which are laughable, and its far too long to really be a fun watch. Look at the cast of this monstrosity. You almost have to see it. This is the movie that uses the following line: Im a pimp, and pimps dont commit suicide. I guess Ill end with some clips from it. Make your own call as to see it or not. But I warned you.

Madoff

2009-12-23T17:32:00.002-05:00

Given to me by Bill Anand Jr.

Bernie Madoff moved to prison hospital

Why am I bringing you this? Notice anything funny about that article? Yeah, no new facts. NONE. This looks suspicious. I think you are about to see "Madoff Missing" headlines or you are going to find out that the man they thought was Madoff was actually a double, a robot, or with all his resources, a clone.

You heard it here first.

Going into the Redskins Offseason: Coach Candidates

2009-12-13T16:15:00.005-05:00

Suppose a name isnt brought in. You have Zorn, Sherm Smith, Greg Blatche, Jerry Gray, Danny Smith, and some assistants and some consultants. I dont really want to keep Jim Zorn as anything besides a QB coach. I was a fan until the dramatic change in production once he lost playcalling duties. If the team rallies to a strong finish, Id be ok with it, but at this rate I dont see a really strong reason for keeping Zorn here.

Could you promote from within? Possibly. Ive heard rumblings of a Greg Blatche retirement. Lets just assume that happens. You could see something like Jerry Gray, Kirk Olivadotti, or John Palermo elevated to Defensive Coordinator or Head Coach. Theres even been talk of Danny Smith taking over.

Of all the coaching candidates on the roster, Im ok with one of the defensive guys taking the helm. I think its a bad move to totally shuffle everything when parts of the team have been looking stronger and stronger.

Offensively, regardless of whether Sherm Lewis is willing to stay on as a playcaller or not, the offense is now producing. There is no guarantee that the next coach will get his offense going. Thus, if you are going to go outside of the organization to get a HC, it makes sense to bring in a defensive HC as the defense is now struggling with consistency, double moves, getting turnovers, and just holding people.

I actually have a candidate. Greg Manusky, currently DC with the 49ers. Why him?

Things I view as a plus:

Hes not a "name"
Hes not the sexy choice
He is a defensive guy
He played under Gibbs/Pettibon
He has coached in Washington before
He has coached good defenses in SD and SF
Hes coached under Marty and Mike Singletary
Hes 43.

This is a guy that can come in and not make waves. The focus would be the moves the team makes on the field, not what big move the owner or gm is going to make. If it doesnt work out, there isnt a huge issue because its not a fiasco with firing some name coach or the beginning of some media blitz. Its a Redskins, coming back to coach, hopefully doing it tough/well.

Manusky at HC, he will likely want to bring in some of his own guys, but you have Sherm Squared at offense, the current crop of defensive staff in place which he might meet and keep.

I think thats the strongest move for the franchise, yes, even stronger than pulling a coach who has won gold elsewhere. No coach has ever comeback to win a title with another team. That likely has alot to do with the situations, not the actual coaches. A coach might have won in another town because of some revolutionary tactic, great personnel, great staff, or just gotten lucky. When a team brings in someone who has won gold elsewhere, usually its under the coaches' conditions (his own personnel, roster control, playcalls, guaranteed money, etc) which maybe arent the same conditions as he won under.

Thats my call though. You dont have to agree.

Going into the Redskins Offseason: Name Coaches

2009-12-13T14:49:00.004-05:00

First, everyone expects HC Jim Zorn to be fired, the team to be blown up, and a "name" coach to be brought in. I dont think these expectations are unwarranted nor are they unlikely.

However, I am not sure that would be the best thing for the near and far future.

Currently the Skins have the following staff:

Front Office

Owner – Daniel Snyder
Executive Vice President of Football Operations – Vinny Cerrato
Vice President of Football Administration – Eric Shaffer
Director of Player Personnel – Scott Campbell
Director of Pro Personnel – Morocco Brown

Head Coaches

Head Coach – Jim Zorn
Assistant Head Coach/Running Backs – Stump Mitchell

Offensive Coaches

Offensive Coordinator – Sherman Smith
Wide Receivers – Stan Hixon
Tight Ends – Scott Wachenheim
Offensive Line – Joe Bugel
Offensive Quality Control – Bill Khayat
Offensive Assistant – Chris Meidt
Offensive Consultant – Sherman Lewis

Defensive Coaches

Defensive Coordinator – Greg Blache
Defensive Line – John Palermo
Linebackers – Kirk Olivadotti
Secondary-Cornerbacks – Jerry Gray
Safeties – Steve Jackson
Defensive Quality Control – Chip Garber

Special Teams Coaches

Special Teams – Danny Smith

Obviously Im not going to talk about all of them. I dont think you can talk about player personnel until you talk about staff so we have to get that settled. Some of the names talked about being brought in are Mike Shannahan, Jon Gruden, and Bill Cowher. I dont think any of them will be brought in but if any are, they would make their own changes, bring in their own guys, and likely that would mark the (at least temporary end of Vinny Cerrato).

The problem is that I dont think any of those guys will want to come here over anywhere else. Those guys would want personnel control, play calls, their own staff, etc. Dan Snyder would have to fire Cerrato and of that I am not 100% sold he will do (though it seems to be possible or even probable). Id also like to make a note here that Vinny Cerrato might be a bit unfairly maligned here based on some of the "sources" that have surfaced, but that is for another time.

Plus, Snyder's reputation and actions even this year might have turned off alot of major suitors. When he tried to replace Zorn, when he offered the job to other people mid season, when he brought in Sherm Lewis all during the tenure of another coach without consulting him, these were all met with general hostility from the public and from the football world. I dont think any potential suitor trusts that they will be given a fair shot at this point. At the first sign that things are going south, even if it isnt their fault, they might get thrown under the bus. Then you gotta figure in the other teams and job opportunities those guys will be getting. So dont be shocked if he cant lure one of those guys into the Capital.

Up next, we talk about my alternatives to the big name coach.

Redskins Defense

2009-12-12T15:29:00.004-05:00

Again, Im not sure what to say. Here were our four points

Defensive Focus
Rogers's Struggles
Inconsistency
Competition

1. Defensive Focus- Its hard to say what this defense is trying to do. For a team that tries to limit the big play, I have to say they fail because nearly every team gets their major weapons off exactly when they have to.

2. Rogers's Struggles. Im going to modify this. DB struggles. Hall, Rogers, Landry all struggled this year especially with the double move and tackling. I dont know whats going on with these guys because theyve all played at a high level before but part of the problems of the defense is that the plays are there to be made but broken tackle, blown coverage on a double move... yeah, Im not sure what to do about this.

3. Inconsistency - Most likely this is a a symptom of the previous 2 points. I think Ill just point out that late in the game the team continues to go to a prevent so soft you could wipe a baby with it. Totally refusing to blitz, refusing to pressure dbs, and practically escorting teams up the field quite quickly.

4. Competition. The teams played have gotten stronger and have put up some points outside of Dallas (but see the last scoring drive in this case).

I have to say Im a little dissapointed in the defense. There are times they play well, but then they give up multiple tds on the same double move. Or they make a hit in the backfield only to fail to tackle someone leading to a huge play, or like in the Saints game actually have someone not named Hall or McIntosh pick off a pass to then have it stripped for a TD.

Its not bad per se, but its not great.

So what do you do about it?

Quick Redskins Update

2009-12-12T13:58:00.003-05:00

When Zorn relinquished playcalls, we thought it might be Sherm Lewis. We were right.

When you look at the last few games you have to note that the ppg jumped from something like 12 per game to 21 per game including dropping 30 on the Saints. We will come back to this.

We thought we would see the following changes:

more screens - check
less slants - check
more throws to the running backs - check
less stretch plays - check
throwing in the red zone - check
some bootlegs - kind of
if the run game gets going expect play action on first down - kind of

More Screens - Yeah, we hit that dead on the head. More specifically, they got the screens working. Whether it be because they disguised it, ran them with different personnel, out of different sets, whatever. Its gotten extra yards, first downs, points, more people involved, and mixed up looks that the defense has to respect now.

Less Slants - I think everyone's happy about this. When you ask this team to run slants constantly, you arent using the full potential of the weaponry of this personnel.

More throws to the running backs - dead on this one. For whatever reason this wasnt really a part of the offense. I know, people think Portis isnt a good receiver to which I point you to the last year of Saunders's monstrosity and the first 8 games of Zorn's first year. Whatever the case, its part of the plan and its helping to beat blitzes.

Less stretch plays - Again, with the depleted line it was taking some time to get some kind of cohesion/grip on what these guys can do. Also Levi Jones has stabilized the LT which for whatever reason Heyer cannot really play for some reason (even though hes a college LT).

Throwing in the RZ - and of course scoring in the RZ

Bootlegs - not too many though we saw a really cool QB keeper fake run thing in the RZ.

1st down playaction - Kind of. The run game isnt strong enough to really command a strong play action passing play scheme.

Heres the raw numbers
Zorn
13.1 points per game
195.3 passing yards per game
98.6 rushing yards per game

Over the past 6 weeks of the season with Sherm Lewis (and Sherm Smith) calling the plays the offense averaged:
Sherm
20.1 points per game
245 passing yards per game
103.3 rushing yards per game

And Jason Campbell's stats:
First 6 games: 107/163, 1,197 yards, 6 TD's, 6 INT's

Last 6 games: 137/207, 1,527 yards, 9 TD's, 6 INT's

You can kind of see that its the passing game thats showed up. In the last few weeks weve also seen the apparent arrival of Devin Thomas, Fred Davis, and even Malcolm Kelly.

So I want to say something like "See! I told you this could work if they ran it this way!" But I cant. Devin Thomas has been coming on slowly/inconsitently all season until his recent explosion. Kind of the same with Fred Davis and Kelly. Weirdly, Santana Moss is the guy who has taken a backseat.

The running game is doing better, but it didnt start working until CP went down. Now, what does it mean when the backups play poorly until the starter goes down? Maybe its that defenses have stopped keying on the run? Maybe not? Im not sold its a matter of CP not being able to run. I really credit Rock with turning some plays that should have been losses into big gainers.

Offensively, now you have a team that can move the ball well, score in the RZ, beat the blitz, go deep... And I have to say, Im pretty content with the team as is (new playcaller, personnel). I dont see anything here that cant be done again, with this personnel, but better with a good offseason.

Sorry for the lack of real analysis. Its still a bit unsettled. We will move onto looking at the defense.

So Im 25 now

2009-12-01T22:51:00.004-05:00

Quarter-Century, Wow.

I dont really have anything new. Dont really have the time to get into anything new... so how about a recap of stuff that didnt make it into the blog. Thats right, a clip show of a blog.

I had my X4 and Wolverine 2 ideas plotted out that I just let slip off my to do list during bar prep. I actually have a lot of it written out so its likely that alot of it will be making an appearance here in the future. Maybe Ill get my hands on a recording device and make it a multimedia experience.

As far as Wolverine, I wanted W2 to be a sequel not to Wolverine, but to an Xmen movie either X3 or X4 (my X4) because Wolverine really doesnt move the ball foward in any meaningful way.
I had a 2nd X trilogy that stood on top of the first X trilogy without overwriting it or disregarding it. The problem is, I would prefer to start from scratch but I dont want to do an introduction movie/origin movie which is why that really got bogged down. Ill probably give you both and see how it plays out.

I tried twice to start a new section called "Tales from the Abyss" where I would tell tales of some of my absurd stories. For those who actually know me I was going to kick it off with the story of "The Bag" which now that I think about it could start a cool story like "The Box" or the episode that it is based off of.

Remember the early MOB post Struggles in Tech Support with JBell? I had a semi-funny thought of what if that conversation substituted Jules and Vincent from Pulp Fiction instead of me and the tech guy. It kind of works, but it works better if its acted out. I dont see this being followed up.

I also had an idea for a Spawn like story about a guy who ends up in hell, longing to be reunited with his lover back on earth. In fact, his love is so great that his hell is simply being unable to be with his love. (Its crucial that this be done well or you end up with a corny romance). Hes a phenomenal tracker/investigator so the devil offers him a job as being a tracker for Hell tracking down people who escape from Hell (like it was a jail or something). Seeing as this might be the only chance he will be able to get back to earth without having someone tracking his own backside, he takes it. I think thats actually a pretty cool idea for a character/story/series. Maybe Joss Whedon could write it for me?

Anyways, Stay Tuned.

Back to Look Alikes

2009-11-19T01:48:00.003-05:00

I have a knack for look alikes. Imagine my pleasure at finding a website where you can upload pictures and they find celebrity look alikes. Its really cool so I dont mind plugging them. www.myheritage.com

Problem is, apparently I dont really look like people you think I look like. Previously, I have drawn comparisons to Lil Wayne (who I did get one time as my look alike), Nick Canon, Wayne Brady (who I had to do some tweaking but eventually got). More often than not I get asian women as my look alikes. Like Ill get 10 results, 8 are good matches 65% or better. Of the 8 good matches, all of them are asian, 6 of them are women. So apparently I look like an asian woman?

Here are some of my more recent matches, the more ridiculous ones.

At 73%, Ben Kingsley. At least hes a great actor right?

MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celeb

Really? 75%?, the Prince of Darkness? Ozzy Osbourne? ALL ABOOOOOAAAAAAAAARDD HAHAHAHA!!!

MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celebrity

Kim Jong Il? Did they just tell me I looked like one of the most evil men walking? Can they do that? Isnt that a tort?

MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celebrity

And you know I had to get Espo at least once...

MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celebrity

Back to the Redskins: Defense

2009-11-15T15:27:00.004-05:00

Ive held off on judging the Redskins defense because of a few reasons. Namely theyve been playing so much better than the offense. Another reason that I have held off on commenting on the D is that they seem to be playing differently from game to game, though I think its stabilized.

Right off the bat, everyones talking about how undisciplined Landry and Hall have been in the backfield, especially when it comes to tackling. I wont be commenting on that, its been done to death, probably more than it should be.

I feel that 4 points have gone unnoticed, or not as noticed as they should be.

1. What is the focus of the defense? Previously I had heard the defensive masterminds (Namely Coach Blatche) talk about preventing the big play. Honestly, I dont mind that kind of defense. I point this out because Im not sure thats the goal on defense anymore. The last few games Ive seen the defense give up some big plays, and theres been more plays that the opposing offenses just havent hit on.

Furthermore, these big plays have come from the strengths of the other team. Against Philly, you know they are looking for big plays from the passing game and in general from Desean Jackson. What happened, big plays from the passing game and DJackson.

Against Atlanta, they lean on power running in the form of Michael Turner. Again, the game was broken open on big runs.

Against Denver, Brandon Marshall is obviously the focus of the offense. 2 huge plays to 15 for 14 easy points. Later on they adjusted well (so far).

I dont mean to suggest answers to the problems. I just mean to point out that whatever the defense is puporting to stop, they need to either reanalysze or refocus on stopping the big play.

2. Carlos Rogers might be Shiwan Khan.

Last year I was impressed by Los's improvement. He turned into a legitimate shutdown corner. He wasnt turning passes defended into INTs, but he wasnt giving up anything. This was remarkable considering how much he was thrown at.

This year, I dont know whats happened. He doesnt seem to have whatever gave him the edge last year. Im at a loss for words. But the defense, all of a sudden lost a guy who could blanket cover the #1 of opposition and he was replaced by someone who is a bit slower, isnt reacting quickly, and isnt tackling well.

But, I think Blatche is reacting to this (having pulled Los today after blown coverage). And the defense is responding.

The Shiwan Khan remark refers to the 1994 movie The Shadow. In which, the last decendent of Shiwan Khan uses mind control to acheive his goals. Spoilers*** In the end, he loses his mind control powers and is left screaming that he was all powerful/skilled and of great importance when he appears to be just a madman. Watch at 7:50.

Sadly Los is this man, no apparent skills of prowess and madly trying to convince the doubtful minds of the world that he was a special player. Do I think he can refocus and regain his game? Absolutely. He just has to do so.

3. Inconsistency

Play to play, game to game. The defense just seems really inconsistent. I know that no defense stops every play. Thats unreasonable to expect. However, this is a veteran defense. I expect them to play accordingly. Execution. For how vet this team is, the execution isnt up to par. When they execute they play well, but theres a few plays a game, or a series a game where they dont seem to be there.

4. They havent played anybody.

Coming into this game they had the 6th overall defense and tops against the pass, . But they had played NYG, STL, DET, TAM, CAR, KC, ATL, and PHI. The following is the offensive rank of those teams respectively, then their passing rank. 6th and 14th, 26th and 24th, 25th and 28th, 28th and 23rd, 21st and 24th, 30th and 25th, 16th and 18th, 15th and 15th.

Whats the average rank of the opponents they have faced? 21st and 21st. So take that with a grain of salt when they get such high praise

Thats all I really care to say. They are playing better than the offense, could play better, and can play better.

Anyone free on the 19th?

2009-11-15T02:01:00.001-05:00

Alfred Hitchcock's North by Northwest At the Byrd
2:00pm Thursday, November 19th

A Byrd Classic Matinee
Tickets: $7 Includes FREE popcorn
Lin Lunde at the Mighty Wurlitzer
Proceeds benefit preservation of the Byrd
50th Anniversary Edition restored from the original negatives!

Doesnt that sound bad ass? Im going to wear a tailored suit and everything. Anyone want to join me?

Has it Been 2 Weeks?

2009-11-15T01:58:00.001-05:00

I suppose it has. We are now tweeting so I dont feel too bad.

From the Depths of the Vault: Forbidden Planet

2009-11-03T20:20:00.007-05:00

So I present to you, From the Depths of the Vault...

Forbidden Planet (1956)

I went into The Vault, searching for something to view and I encountered a person. It was none other than the previous keeper of The Vault, my Father. He invited me to view a movie that he was seeing for the first time. So, please enjoy something that we checked out for the first time, together.

Its the early 23rd Century and mankind has taken to exploring the stars. The story centers around the mystery of the disappearance of an exploratory party that was sent to the star system Altair IV 20 years ago. We follow a new ship and crew as they arrive at the planet to figure out what happened. When they arrive they arent met by welcomes but rather a warning to leave immediately.

I truly enjoyed this movie from start to finish. Cool visuals, good acting, interesting plotlines keep it interesting till the end. Aesthetically, it does feel like a different world. Part of that is due to the fact that these are sets and not the middle of some remote area. Everything seems sterile, but in a very alien way. The world they come to doesnt have much by way of wildlife, and it only adds to the unearthliness. In fact, the only life on the planet is the 2 stay overs from the last mission, the animals brought with that first party, and the 2nd party.

The 2 stayovers are a Dr. Edward Morbius and his fine daughter, Alta. They inform the search party that everyone from the previous crew under some suspicious circumstances died as they tried to flee the planet as Morbius stayed on the planet. To further enrich the story, we also find out that the first party discovered the existence of an ancient ultra high tech society long since dead with its technology still functioning beneath the planet's surface.

Its a 50s look at the future, but it doesnt really seem silly or campy like something along the line of Queen of Blood. From the start it felt more scientifically grounded than some pulp stories. It takes time to get out to distant planets. There isnt the sort of magic tech that makes the future too foreign to understand. Which isnt to say there isnt future tech, but most of the new tech is just analogs of current (or 50's tech): laser rifles, force field fences, and rovers. The alien tech of course is fantastic however, as it should be though I will not spoil it.

Wrapping up about tech, this movie features Robby the Robot. Im sure youve seen him before. I am a bit of a loss for words. Robby is hillarious, because Robby is an ass. Hes always dropping funny lines or doing funny things.

Another person to watch out for is in the lead: Leslie Nielson. Yeah, Frank Drebin himself. Ill bet you didnt know that he was a serious actor before he did all that comedy work. Hes actually pretty good to, hold the drama well.

Sorry for kind of rambling. Im in an odd place, but thats for another day. This is a gem, check it out.

Revision and Reclamation: The Haunting in Connecticut

2009-11-01T20:46:00.007-05:00

There comes a time when a major franchise or intellectual property makes a substantial alteration in its path. Sometimes the change is allowed to happen in an almost natural fashion leading to increasingly compelling drama and storytelling. One cant help but to think of some of our favorite moment in literature, cinema, and drama and be reminded of how often those moments are the culmination of scenes, foreshadowing, and of course, appropriate dramatic build up.

However, we also are reminded of flat scenes, broken dialogue, and forced tension manufactured by some of our least favorite scenes or worse, scenes to which we are indifferent. Quite frequently a sequel takes a series into a bizarre direction at the expense of quality or a ending fails to cap off a story. With some changes, flubs and near misses can achieve their potential and reclaim their place in our hearts.

And now The Haunting in Connecticut.

Normally, I would never have sat through this piece. I had heard this fell flat and after watching it, I can confirm that this thing fell flat. We watched it in a room of 11 people looking to get scared by a solid horror movie. We got 1 person who fell asleep, 1 person who had a few screams at jump scares, 1 person who was really into it, and nearly everyone else wants their time back.

Heres the synopsis: Charts one family's encounter with the dark forces of the supernatural. When the Campbell family moves to upstate Connecticut, they soon learn that their charming Victorian home has a disturbing history: not only was the house a transformed funeral parlor where inconceivable acts occurred, but the owner's clairvoyant son Jonah served as a demonic messenger, providing a gateway for spiritual entities to crossover. Now terror awaits when Jonah, the boy who communicated with the dead, returns to unleash horror on the innocent and unsuspecting family

Lets put some things on the table. I dont really have a huge interest in ghost stories. I despise cash in movie efforts. This wont be a proper R&R because this piece doesnt deserve it. I just want to look deeper than a review of a bad movie from March. That should do well for our purposes here.

Now lets go back to the synopsis. Seeing it written out, that seems really interesting. Spoiler alert. No forget that. We are going to speak freely here - Expect spoilers. The problem is, that doesnt happen in the movie. If I had to recap this movie it would sound more like this:

Campbell family moves to a house in Connecticut because their son needs to be closer to the hospital in order to receive treatment. The house is apparently haunted by some pacifist ghosts. Casey Jones tries to help the Campbell kids figure out what exactly is going on.

Thats it. Its 90 minutes of nothing actually going down. Dont misunderstand me here, it doesnt have to be action packed. But this is an exercise in repetitiveness. And what is repeated is not sweet. Its all jumpscares. Bad jumpscares.

The movie basically follows this fomula: Scene where the kid gets treatment, scene in the house, some ghostly images come into the background and usually dont directly interact with the characters, someone else comes in ghosts leave, repeat. Thats right, they never interact with the characters directly.

Lets be more specific. The usual "interaction" will have one character awake in the night or exploring the new house. The character will look around in some place. The character will notice something like a box or a sealed door and go to investigate. The will be satisfied with their cursory investigation and turn to check something else out. As they turn around, a ghostly image will pop up in the background or a shadowed figure will pass through the background.

Theres no real progession in the story nor in tension built by these jump scares. There is no lasting impact left by these ghosts. They might wake you up and get your heart racing for a minute a night, but after that? Youre just back to normal.

Granted, some of these flaws are because of the format. Its just a haunted house ghost story. But you can make a good haunted house story. I havent seen Drag Me to Hell or Paranormal Activity, but both are haunted house stories and both have been better received than this piece.

Haunted House movies all kind of feature the same things. People go to house, house is already haunted, ghosts pester people, people either reconcile with ghosts or leave. The problem in this movie is that the story only fleshes out in any meaningful way in the final 15 minutes and it doesnt really have anything to do with the family we have spent the majority of the movie with nor does it seem particularly threatening.

Remember I already warned you about spoilers. Throughout the movie we find clues as to why the house is haunted. There was some kind of foul business that went on in the bowels of the house. Something to do with dead bodies. They find traces and equipment and discover it was a mortuary. Basically halfway throught he movie thats all we know. A little later we find out that the mortician used to run seances and that his son was a sort of guide. Insert bullshit about ectoplasm. We try to keep it pretty clean at the Memoirs but it was a bullshit movie. About the last 15 minutes or so we get a flashback that shows exactly how it went down. The mortician's son ran a seance, shot his ectoplasmic wad out of his mouth, for whatever reason it ignited killing everyone except him. He then ran into the dumbwaiter and tumbled into the furnace where he was burned alive by his father who had been stealing bodies for his necromantic side hustle.

Ok? So the only reasons this particular family is relevant is because they live in the house and the their son's cancer treatment allows him to see ghosts. Oh I forgot to tell you that? It doesnt really matter because Im pretty sure another family member and another character see the ghosts too.

Other largely unimportant plot hanging points?

Alcoholic, possibly abusive father - Never amounts to anything important except a hillarious sequence where he drives to the house, gets mad about the lights being on, takes all the lights out of the sockets, breaks all the bulbs, and drives off.

The kid being sick - this never really has any relevance. It never syncs up with him being able to see the dead in any meaningful way. Its just an excuse to get them into the house, which never needed to be justified in the first place.

So really, thematically, nothing that is particular to this story is relevant to the plot. On top of it, its poorly executed. So what happened here.

It looks like someone had an idea for a story about a boy who could conduct seances in some older period. Its actually kind of interesting as Im not sure weve seen alot of stuff about those kinds of happenings. However, either the other half that idea was a modern family stumbling upon its twisted legacy or someone thought thats what was needed to make this work on screen. Either way, fail.

Do I really want to R&R this? No. Not at all but to prove a point we are going to walk through some quick fixes to turn this from a forgotten moving into something that could generate buzz that would build, not dissipate.

Make the family relevant - Maybe you do something like you need the firstborn of the family to add to the ghosts power or something like that. As is, those people could have moved out and it would have been over then and there. If you want to play up on the cancer angle then do that. You could cook up some techno babble about how the kid's tumor in his brain causes him to see things. They tried the reverse in the movie, where his treatment would cause him hallucinations (which was entirely botched). If his tumor is the cause of the hallucinations/visions he becomes a reluctant conduit for the ghosts' story. As he goes into treatment his ability to understand them becomes clouded, so he might do something like skip treatments because he wants to see the ghosts rest finally. Whats that? Sacrifice? Drama? No way.

Make Casey Jones relevant. He does a ritual to remove the boy's remains from the house to stop the ghost activities. It backfires somehow because instead of the boy being the problem, somehow he was the thing keeping the ghosts from getting out of control, or something. Really, it has no purpose. If the ghosts had just gotten buck wild it would have just felt like the natural progression of the movie, building to a crescendo. How bout Casey Jones being the landlord. This way he isnt just a stranger who talks about spirits, hes a guy who looks for people to help him lay these spirits to rest. And heres another idea, he could be a decedent of one of the people killed in the seance accident or even the mortician's family. Thus he would have an understandable interest in laying to rest the spirits of his relatives who could be believed to be haunting him. To help build tension you could start the movie off with the previous tenant getting driven insane or killed by the ghosts and Casey Jones cleaning things up just in time for the Campbell's arrival. Then when the haunting starts, we fear for the safety not because we dont know what the ghosts can do, but because we know they can do serious harm.

A house cant be made of bodies - That whole sequence where the kid busts the walls open and bodies come pouring out of the walls en masse was absurd. The house would have to have been lined, no made of bodies. The house was walls stuffed with bodies, with bodies as support beams, laid on a foundation of bodies. Now that I think about it, How could someone go about this. Not to mention the general smell of chemical filled bodies would be overpowering. Doing one body seems hard enough. A house full of bodies seems literally impossible. I wish I could find a clip to show how absurd it is. Even if it were possible, pulling all of those bodies out would weaken the house to the point where it couldnt stand.

This movie was stupid and just tried to cash in on some hype by throwing together some "scary imagery" and some jump scares. Lazy. If you want a haunted house movie go see Poltergeist, any of them were better than this. Or Drag Me to Hell, Paranormal Activity, or anything better than this foolishness

What Scares You?

2009-11-01T19:16:00.003-05:00

So youve survived another Halloween. Youve had a chance to check out some movies, shows, or even had some frights in real life. Lets recap a few things that I find frightening and why scary movies arent really scary anymore.

Seeing without sight - For whatever reason, this absolutely creeps me out. I dont find it cripplingly terrifying, but anytime theres a character in a movie who is able to interact without sight, it gets to me. Im not talking about the blind holding conversations. Im talking about those characters in movies who are blind, but appear to still be able to see. Imagine a town where there is an old blind crone, rambling insane. The protagonist might walk past the crone and the crone will stop rambling and begin speaking to the protagonist and making eye contact. Gets me every time. Most likely this stems from being so reliant on sight that seeing someone have an apparently stronger grip on his surroundings with out something that I personally am so reliant on.

Poorly lit bathrooms - Even worse than the seers without sight, the pooly lit bathroom fills me with crippling fear. I wont weap or fold. I just cant move. Well lit bathroom? Fine. Dark bathroom? Fine. Let there be a flickering light? Paralyzing terror. This probably stems from playing to many video games. I really cant explain it.

Non-responsive strangers - This is the Michael Myers scenario. Couple is on the street looking for an address lets say. Couple sees a guy walking the other way and calls out. "Hey buddy, wheres 3rd street" expecting the appropirate response. Instead they get silence. Immediately Im tensing up and in my personal life Im already escaping. In the movies its "Hey mack, whats your problem" and so on until Michael Myers makes him dissolve. This seems to be a general fear of strangers which is a bit trite and doesnt really grip me with terror in real life so much as it works in movies.

People laughing when stuff isnt funny - The inverse is also something to alert you to coming tension. In these cases you have a group of people joking around, carrying on. One of the group stops laughing and maintains a puzzling level of seriousness usually focusing on one or a few specific persons. You should know then that something is about to go down. In the opposite case where there is a generally less jovial tone to the happening and someone begins laughing, again, specifically at a few targets, they should be on notice that something is about to go down. I suppose this is really a fear of not knowing everything thats going on. Not so much a fear of the unknown; fear of the unknown might be a fear of everything that isnt currently known. This seems to be more of a fear of something that does seem to exist, you just arent privy to that information.

People who can control their emotions - This is another one that gets me everytime. This is probably less overt than any other of the previous ones listed and perhaps thats why it gets me like it does. The idea that someone could produce artificial emotions that were so strong they fool the most dubious of people, people that are close to them, and even themselves bothers me on a very deep level. This one probably irks me so much because it makes me question even the most sincere or nonthreatening interactions with people. Yeah, doubt. Yeah theres the silly stuff. Yes you might look fat in that dress. No its not ok for you to go to the strip club with your friends. But then theres the more significant things. Yes Im happy or Yes I love you. Just think if the things you relied on, you couldnt trust. Or worse, what if something justified all those doubts you had all along.

So, what scares you? Post below. Next we will take a look at a movie A Haunting in Connecticut and why it falls flat.

Costume Ideas

2009-10-30T16:33:00.004-04:00

Patrick Bateman. Needs suit, clear rain coat, axe, fake blood

Bennett from Commando. Knife or Gun, Mesh tank top, leather pants, pornstache.

Sully - Crappy Patterned suit, weaseliness

Chev Chelios - Low hair cut, 5 oclock shadow, jumper cables

Lord Humongous - Pair of suspenders backwards, hockey mask, cowl

Punisher - Punisher T shirt, wild turkey

Travis Bickle from Taxi Driver - Psychosis, sunglasses, dark jacket, Mohawk

Yeah, Scary Movies too I Suppose

2009-10-28T22:47:00.008-04:00

I guess I should cover some scary movies that you might want to check out. Maybe lets not so much do the typical stuff like The Ring. So once again Ill do 2 lists. The first being scary/horrifying movies and the second will be horror/halloween themed without really being scary. Im going to leave off nearly all of the major franchises.

Horror Themed but not terribly scary:

Evil Dead 2 and Army of Darkness. If you havent seen these by now (yeah, Evil Dead 1 is solid too but 2 is a remake of 1) you are just missing out. Too scary? Keep in mind, its made by the guy who did Spiderman. How bad could it be?

Gremlins and Gremlins 2 - Classics. Maybe less classic with the 2nd one, because that first one is actually kind of scary. But the 2nd one is made to be more funny than scary.

Freddy Vs. Jason - Yeah it stars 2 major 80s horror icons. Doesnt mean its scary. Really its like a reverse buddy cop movie. Instead of the 2 cops struggling to get along to stop the villains, the villains stuggle to one up each other (kind of). Well, regardless, its a comedy with gore, not a horror movie.

Shaun of the Dead - A great smart comedy with gore. Maybe a bit too intense for some kids but you should be ok with this one.

Pitch Black - A cool movie with Vin Diesel on an alien planet. Its an intense movie, but its not too intense for most PG-13 audiences.

The Faculty - Mostly forgotten movie. Kind of a take on Invasion of the Body Snatchers set in a high school with a cool cast (the supporting cast, not so much the stars). Give it a shot. Directed by Robert Rodriguez.

Predator - Yeah, its Arnie. Yeah its Classic. At its core, its a monster movie. And a good one at that. GET TO THE CHOPPA.

Underworld - Vampires vs. Werewolves with Kate Beckinsale in a leather jumpsuit shooting dual pistols in slo motion. Check out the sequels too for some dumb fun.

Killer Clowns from Outer Space - yeah, thats the real title. Supposedly theres a sequel coming out...
Terminator Series - (I mean the movies, I havent seen the TV series) Terminator 1 might be a bit too dark for some young ones but the rest of the series should be ok for all.

Tremors 1 and 2 - I limit it to 1 and 2 because after that its just too dumb for me to recommend

The Wicker Man - the new one not the old one. The old one is just unnerving and brilliantly so. The new one has Nic Cage beating up women.

Blade (Trilogy) - I really only like the first Blade. But they are all fun movies.

Cry Wolf - Cool thriller that might be a bit too intense for some youth. Slasher mystery set in a college campus with Bon Jovi.

Ghosts of Mars - Im not going to pretend this is a good movie. To the contrary, its laughable by the end. But the first 40 minutes is actually pretty good. Then it loses it entirely. But by that time, you got Ice Cube whipping out dual SMGs. Watch out for the silly ending where Desolation Williams, excuse me, Ice Cube has Chromed out Uzis.

Hocus Pocus - I DARE you to watch that musical sequence and not be singing that all day long. Sarah Jessica Parker and Bette Middler FTW.

Put the Kids to Bed...

The Thing - Wow, what a movie. James Cameron's classic horror movie. Without computers, this has some of the most horrifying images I have ever seen in a movie and I dont know how they did it.

The Last Man on Earth and I am Legend (I havent seen Omega Man so I cant advise there) - The Last Man on Earth is definitely the better of the two. Both are solid entries, but staying close to the book and having Vincent Price means the older one has the edge.

Dawn of the Dead (both of them) - I love both of these movies and I guess they arent the most horrifying though both have some memorable moments. Its just got too much by way of gore and on screen deaths for the kiddies.

Jeepers Creepers - Cool movie that to this day is underappreciated. Great until the last 20 minutes where its still good, just not the great level of the rest of the movie (keep in mind, it only had a 2 million dollar budget)

The Cell - This is a cool movie where JLo (who still acts at this point) works with Vince Vaughn to go inside the head of a catatonic serial killer. Bizzarre twisted visuals make this way too intense for kids.

From Dusk Till Dawn - Really unique movie. Starts off as sort of a escape movie as 2 criminals are making a run for the border. They make a pitstop at a bar and get attacked by a legion of vampires.

30 Days of Night - Vampires attack an artic town during their winter. That means a full month of no sun, no safety, and no chance of survival. Intense imagery. These Vampires are scary, not pretty. Great gore effects. Clearly not for kids.

Identity - This is another thriller that takes place inside a location you dont really expect from the trailer. Theres a bunch of people trapped at a motel and one of them is a killer, or maybe more than just one of them. Classic ending line that one of my friends lives by.

Grindhouse - Forgotten movies. Not really scary, and Planet Terror is WAY to gory for kids. Fun ones, just too much gore.

Ive heard that REC, the spanish movie that piece Quarantine was based off of was good, truly terrifying, but I havent seen it first hand. Theres a ton more that Ive heard are scary but just cant recommend for lack of never encountering it myself.

Ok, thats a huge selection for you to pick from if you wanna check out some movies this Halloween. Be safe and have fun!

Audiobooks for You

2009-10-27T23:01:00.004-04:00

Right off the bat lets just put some audiobooks that Ive checked out which I recommend in general. Then Ill list some Halloween themed audiobooks for you to check out.

Michael Crichton Books - Im not a huge fan of his work, but they are really structured well since they almost seem paced like movies. - Pause to honor a cancer victim - Personally I loved Prey, though most people really loved the Jurassic Park series, along with Timeline (which I thought was insultingly dumb, same with State of Fear). Prey is about the creation of nanobot clouds which for whatever reason get out of control and begin wildly evolving which clearly isnt a good thing at all for humanity.
Exact Revenge by Ex NFL player Tim Green - Imagine a modern Count of Monte Cristo. Yeah, its pretty good too.
If youre into adventure you might want to check out Clive Cussler's work, though I dont really like it too much. Its kind of cliched swashbuckling and treasure hunting. Same for Isabelle Allende's Zorro with less swashbuckling somehow (totally not what you expect nor hope for from a Zorro book, but its still fun)
Ambler Warning - By the guy who wrote the Bourne stuff. It might take some suspension of disbelief but its a fun spy ride

Enough of the lighter stuff. Time for the scarier, darker, creepier stuff.

I am Legend by Richard Matheson - Yeah, that I am Legend. Its pretty different from the movie so even if youve seen that you should still try to check this one out. I think the book in infinitely better and far more horrific without a ton of gorey scenes. Note: Matheson wrote the short story which this classic Twilight Zone episode featuring William Shatner is based upon.

Dracula - Yeah, Dracula. Everyone knows the general story about Dracula. How many of you have read Dracula though? Even though its old, its still pretty damn good. That first third is solidly terrifying and the second part is unnerving though dated. The end doesnt really work by today's standards but the whole is a pretty good dark story. Give the audiobook a try, listen to it at night, with the lights off, or at night off a country road. Isolate yourself from society and let your mind fill in the blanks.

Hour Game - not really super scary but its suspenseful and good all the way through.

World War Z - Max Brooks's catalogue of how humanity lost the Zombie War, then rallied to retake the world from the horde of literally billions of zombies that have taken most of the world. You will hear the story from first hand accounts of many different people at different times of the outbreak in different locales. Give it a shot. Oh yeah, the buzz currently is that this will be made into a major motion picture starring Brad Pitt. Might be cool to listen to this before the movie.

The Strain by Chuck Hogan and Guillermo del Toro, voiced by Ron Pearlman - I just checked this one out. Its really something great. Its a Vampire story set in NYC, but the Vampire threat spreads not like youre thinking. One of the protagonists is part of the CDC (Center for Disease Control), so the vampire threat is handled like a biological outbreak. Its pretty unique and very good. Suspenseful, scary, unnerving. I found myself checking around for traces of the undead. I was listening to this while I was in a less populated area. I found myself hesitant to go back to more populous areas because I knew for sure that the vampires had overrun the city. No joke.

Audiobooks: The New Radio Show?

2009-10-27T16:22:00.003-04:00

When I was a boy, my family used to go on road trips. Usually to the beach we would drive up and down the east coast. To pass the hours we would do the things everyone does on road trips. Sing, tell stories and riddles, make up highway games. We also would listen to old radio shows. After stopping at places like Cracker Barrel and Stuckey's, we would load up on cassettes of these old broadcasts and we (or at least I) enjoyed the time in the car/Astrovan all the more.

We would listen to things like The Shadow, Lights Out, and of course The Green Hornet. I really loved these old shows because they had some great entertaining stories. Even though they were 40, 50, maybe more than 60 years old, they still built alot of great tension. I cared about the characters and totally bought what was going on. I really miss those radio shows. Good voice acting, self contained stories, and great tension.

In the Summer of 2005 I was doing quite a bit of driving and had a job where I could listen to headphones. Naturally I searched frantically for content to fill my bleak existence. Enter the audiobook. Just a book on tape. Or for the Naughty Aughties (Oughties) the book on CD, or MP3. However you find it, its a book read by someone else, sometimes with sound effects and music thrown in.

Personally I love them. Especially when travelling, or doing busywork, they eat up time and youre getting to do something positive. I havent really gotten the chance to read alot in the last few years so audiobooks let me sneak in a few titles while I didnt have the time/energy to actually read it.

Obviously they arent for everyone and each audiobook is of different quality. Give them a shot and stay tuned for some seasonal recommendations.

Halloween Time

2009-10-26T20:31:00.004-04:00

Halloween is a really cool time of the year. Its not all scares and thrills, but those are such a big part of this time of year so obviously we will have to touch on that.

At its core, Halloween is a time where people step out of their shell, their comfort zone. In a way its an exercise in escapism, and I dont mean that in a defamatory manner. People with a wild side can use the day to live a character that they empathize with. Self proclaimed "Lady Killers" might break out "Pimp" costumes.

Insert Picture of Corey Pollard in Pimp Costume (yes it was this color)

Well, lets be balanced here. Ive also seen introverted people dress in less flamboyant costumes, for example a ninja costume (dark and covered head to toe) or even a Mickey Mouse costume.

Then I suppose escapism is the wrong term. People put on costumes and go out masquerading as sensational characters at night. Perhaps a better phrasing would be to call it an exercise in extremes. That seems to fit better: Halloween is a night where people live to the extremes.

Lets get in the mood together. Im going to try to put out a series of posts to give you an insight on all things terror and Halloween related. We might touch on (but obviously not hit every) extreme together.

Look out for:

Scary Movies
Scary Stories
Audiobook: The New Radio?
What Scares You?

That means alot of work to do and alot of content for you!

Ill get to it

Back to the Redskins: Interlude

2009-10-18T23:44:00.007-04:00

The Redskins woes continue to grow apparently. A loss at home to a previously un-victorious KC Chiefs. But there are two semi-interesting storylines to watch develop.

Jason Campbell replaced by Todd Collins at half.
Jim Zorn to give up play calling duties.

We actually talked about both of these storylines indirectly previously. Its interesting to me how so many people wanted to see Collins take over. So lets talk about the first point and mark some things to watch out for.

Whats the impact of this QB change both short term and long term?

I really havent heard if this is going to be a permanent (as permanent as a personnel change can be in the NFL) or just for the half change. Either way it might illustrate a point. Granted before you look at this its good to notice some caveats.

Collins came in cold - that means he didnt have the week to prepare as the starter (though Im sure he was as prepared as anyone could be)
Collins has been a career backup (Ill revisit this point later)

People have called for a QB change because they believe that Campbell's skills are not suited for a WCO, which may or may not be true. In any case, some believe that Collins's skills would be a better natural fit, which again may or may not be true.

In a way its a classic tale (which I dont think is true upon any analysis): Brain vs Brawn with Campbell being the superior athelete and Collins being the veteran with great accuracy and decision making.

After the first pass I was starting to think maybe theres some weight to this idea. A 42 yard completion to Santana Moss, no YAC. Campbell had just misfired slightly on a similar pass to Moss and threw a poor ball to Devin Thomas in the first half. 10 yard penalty, incompletion, checkdown, checkdown, FG. Ok, its a scoring drive though it fizzled out. This was not a red zone possession though it might be close enough to use it as a datapoint.

Then another scoring drive. But this one is a 78 yard run from Portis. Incompletion, Incompletion, Incompletion, FG. This was a RZ possession

After those two drives there came 5 more drives, zero scores, 19 yards, 15 plays. Color me unconvinced by this game one way or the other.

Remember, we noted that Collins came in cold. It is possible that with a weeks preparation Collins would have done better. So when I say he put up 6-14 for 75 yards, no TDs, 2 sacks taken, and 1 safety taken against the defense of the Chiefs (28th overall), I have to put up an asterix.

We also noted that Collins is a career backup. Its possible that neither of these QBs are any good whatsoever. That might call into question the 4-0 streak that Collins's receives much credit for, so Im not sure people will bring that up. Further, Im not sure the importance of their skill level is of any importance.

Because of the nearly polar opposites of their skill sets (Collins and Campbell) you might expect the change to have some particular effects. If they both are poor QBs, the team might not move the ball or score easily, but youd expect the performance to be different though the result might be the same.

9-16 for 89 yards, 1 INT (on a bad hail mary that should have been a FG), 4 first downs
6-14 for 75 yards, 1 safety, 3 first downs

Im not sure Im being clear here. Explicitly, Collins might struggle, but he should struggle in different ways. Hes less mobile, youd expect that if he were forced to move around alot hed struggle. He doesnt have the long arm, youd expect alot of shorter/high percentage passes or maybe some passes that Campbell stuggles at Collins might hit.

Remember, we noted that Collins is not Fran Tarkenton and that Collins was not given the reps of a starter. But Collins's accuracy (outside of one pass) was not apparent. Not only did he struggle to complete passes, once caught the receivers couldnt run after the catch. (granted there are the caveats we noted). Something to note as well, total inability to move the ball in the RZ with a QB with the opposite skill set.

His veteran decision making also missing. Taking the safety, checking down too frequently, missing open receivers. These are the usual criticisms of the supposedly innaccurate/slow Campbell. I say supposedly because I question them as proper analysis of the problem. (Personally I think Campbell's real weakness as a player is inconsistency)

So what is my verdict here? Hard to say. This is a very small datapoint. Collins could get a weeks reps and go out and play mistake free football spreading the ball around and picking apart the defense. But what if he doesnt? If 2 different qbs with opposite skill sets have the same problems, perhaps the problem is greater than the qb position itself.

But am I saying anything new? Not really. We know the OL is patchwork. We know the team cant seem to run at all (without the 78 yarder Portis went 2.2 ypc) leading to repeated 3rd and longs. Any and every slight mistake ends a drive. A penalty, a stumble, a drop, an errant throw means a punt is imminent. Thats obviously not good, but why can other teams get over these hurdles? Better talent? Better coaches? Better scheme? Maybe all 3? Something else? Who knows.

But heres where storyline 2 comes into play.

2. New Playcaller.

If I had to put my money on it, thats why Sherman Lewis was brought in. I think Id like to see Campbell under a new playcaller, but if the problem is playcalling then Collins should do better than both his performance in the KC game and Campbell's performance this year.

The WCO will be called into question. While Im not a huge fan of the WCO, I will only entertain balance criticisms of it. I do think it can work, but in extremely limited conditions which might call into question the decision to install it. Keep in mind, If the WCO really is the creation of Bill Walsh out of necessity of having a weak OL in Cincinnati, then the WCO dates back to the late 70s. That might mean it predates Joe Gibbs's offense. That might mean that a 25+ year old offensive scheme needs to be altered for today's NFL.

Of course the problems will still remain (OL, no 2nd receiver, no run game), but we can see what the effect of a change in playcaller will be. Zorn's playcalling struggles have been well documented so I wont go into it. I expect a few things:

more screens
less slants
more throws to the running backs
less stretch plays
throwing in the red zone
some bootlegs
if the run game gets going expect play action on first down

To wrap things up I turn to the Todd Collins blog: http://toddcoll15.blogspot.com/

A Strange Ambivelence

2009-10-15T17:57:00.003-04:00

Bar results are up. For some its a happy day, for some its a let down. For all theres tension going into the last few days.

We like to keep things light over here at the Memoirs. Accordingly, I wont go all emo. I didnt pass. I failed the July 2009 Bar. I should be upset. Im sure someone else in my situation is panicking, or at least emotional. Part of me is. I envisioned a Christian Bale like meltdown.

Maybe there is a part of me that is upset. Something that wants to justify the time and stress put into preparing for that test. Scream or cry or shout or smash.

Alas, Im cool about it. I felt worse before knowing than I do now that I have seen the list with my name missing. I think Im actually ok. Which kind of scares me.

Washington Redskins: Offensive Offense

2009-10-14T20:31:00.006-04:00

If you had asked me in the offseason what was the problem offensively, I would have listed a few reasons.

In no particular order:

Injuries to OL

Poor playcalling

QB too willing to checkdown

Inability to score in the Red Zone

I also would have pointed out that the team in week 4 looked totally different from the team at week 14. No one would dispute the depth problems on the line. Jim Zorn had said that he had to cut the playbook down because of the problems up front. People also said that Jason Campbell wasnt able to make the plays he had in the first half of the season which then lead to lower point totals.

Of course, people also said the opposite. Suddenly Jason Campbell had been "figured out" which made the coach have to change his playcalls and with all this, lead to lower performance up front.

Personally I subscribe to the former, not the latter but I dont fault you for your opinions. All this is to say that the problem last year might not have been as severe as was thought. A team that can move the ball up the field but cant punch it in is in a different place from a team that just cant up the field.

My basis for this is the general statistics from the 08-09 season.

320 ypg, 18.4 1st downs per game, plus 1:30 TOP, but with a 16.6 PPG average. The yards and first downs are right in the middle of the pack. The TOP is high, but the PPG is low. This was a team that could move, but could not put that to use.

Now, this year it seems to be a deterioration.

300 ypg, 17.4 1st downs per game minus 2:05, with a 14.4 PPG average. If you further analyze the numbers it might make things clearer.

Without talking about last year too much, it was a tale of two teams (if Im right) and it starts with the deterioration of the line starting with Samuel's knee flaring up with the Detriot game.

The team was walking up the field with ease, passing, running, everything but the wildcat. The one weakness was scoring in the redzone, though getting there was pretty frequent and the average ppg was more like 22 ppg. The 2nd half the year the team did not move the ball as well, and actually got worse in the RZ leading to the low ppg average for the 2nd half of the year, thus dipping it down to 16. So maybe looking at the stats straight up dont tell the tale. Fair.

So whats the problem here now? Everything.

A quick look at the passing and running stats show me something thats deceptive:

Campbell's passing YPA: 7.5 YPG: 221.6 - the YPA is one of the higher ones in the league while the YPG is one of the lower ones
Redskins rushing YPA: 3.7 YPG: 94.8 both in the bottom quartile.

The knee jerk reaction is "throw more." Which is simple, but Im not sure its that simple. The high YPA is most likely a result of facing alot of 3rd and longs forcing longer throws. Which to Campbell's credit, is actually picking up quite a bit of them

40 3rd downs thrown on of which hes picked up 35% (solid if unspectacular). If you throw in his rushes hes got about a 39% conversion rating which is quite good.. 22 of which are 3rd and 6 or longer. Think about that. Over half of the 3rd downs he faces are 3rd and longs. Of course, to pick up a 3rd and long, you have to get long.

More importantly is the abundance of 3rd and longs. Lets call it at 6 yards. You get 3rd and 6 or more and thats a difficult converson.

Campbell has thrown on 3rd and long (thats 6 or longer) 22 times (with 5 sacks). Hes thrown on 3rd and medium or short 18 times with no sacks. 27 3rd and longs vs 18 3rd and reasonables? I think thats the problem. Too often the Redskins cannot get meaningful positive movement from 1st and 2nd down.

Campbell has thrown or passed on 114 1st and 2nd downs for 857 yards thats 7.52 YPA. The Skins have run 97 times on 1st and 2nd for 346 yards (3.56 ypa). The balance is 54:46 pass:run

I guess you could just say throw more. I suppose the stats do support it. I dont think asking this OL to pass protect more is going to help things though. Maybe you could go 60:40, but probly not higher than that without diminishing returns. It seems as though this team will have to run the ball until they can get healthier or deeper. So how do you run then?

Heres something from MVN Hog Heaven. Its something called Lineman Yards. Its basically the higher the number the better the run blocking of that lineman. Note, this is only up through the Bucs game.

1. Mike Sellers 5.32 LY (32 attempts)
2. Chad Rinehart 4.77 LY (16 attempts)
3. Chris Samuels 4.32 LY (25 attempts)
4. Stephon Heyer 4.19 LY (27 attempts)
5. Chris Cooley 3.61 LY (19 attempts)
6. Will Montgomery 3.58 LY (9 attempts)
7. Randy Thomas 3.35 LY (5 attempts)
8. Casey Rabach 3.27 LY (37 attempts)
9. Derrick Dockery 3.10 LY (44 attempts)
10. Fred Davis 2.82 LY (6 attempts)

First, lets note where the runs go to. 25 to the LT. 30 to the RG. 25 to the TE side. 32 to the Fullback. 44 to the LG. 37 to the C. 27 to the RT. Next we have to note that the best lineman on the team is down for at least next week. That leaves your best proper lineman as far as run blocking Rinehart and despite all the moaning about how he cant block, Heyer along with Montgomery who will all be starting next week.

So how can the team improve its production from the run game. 44 attempt behind Dock at 3.10 isnt going to cut it. I hate to say it, but things might be better with less running behind Dockery. Rabach also seems to be doing poorly so maybe running to the 2 gap (forgive me if I got that wrong, I mean between C and LG) should be less.

The X factor will be Mike Williams at RT and how he fares in both pass and run blocking. But it seems like running left isnt cutting it. Certainly not running the stretch play as frequently will help. Just balancing left and right will probably help a little bit. Running less behind Rabach and Dockery will probably help out too though you have to run gut to keep them honest.

How much will it help? Hard to say, but until they can pick up consistent yards on first and 2nd down run plays, expect more of the same.

As far as pass protection. Its spotty, leaving much to be desired. Too many times is Campbell pressured before he gets into his drop or right when hes completed the playaction fake or had to kill the fake cause the back stepped up to pick up the rusher. Is he at fault? Absolutely. Hes missed receivers or forced the ball or held it too long. But honestly Im not sure how much of a difference it would make. If he played mistake free I think we still lose Carolina and NY, though not by much. If you disagree, I cant fault you for it. I am forced to point to how Tom Brady is struggling right now getting things back to being consistent up in NE. Hes throw the same amount of TDs, less completion %, less sacks taken, less YPA. Of course its a different team, a different situation, against different opponents, yadda yadda.

I have said for a while that the problems with the Redskins offense is bigger than Jason Campbell. And I stand by it.

Im going to avoid talking about the redzone for now because its talked to death. Additionally, until they start letting Campbell throw in the RZ, they wont score.

Washington Redskins: Lets get in on the Act

2009-10-14T19:05:00.005-04:00

All around the internet. Nay, all around the world it seems as though people have hit the tipping point about the Washington Redskins. Everyones getting in on the act creating a feeding frenzy - aka its cool to bash the Skins.

Dont get me wrong, most if not all of it is deserved. But lets really look closely at whats going on here.

Some people are blaming Jason Campbell
Some blame Jim Zorn
Some blame Vinny "Sarge" Cerrato

Some blame Daniel Snyder
Some blame Greg Blatche
I blame Casey "Ryback" Rabach

There is merit to all of these points. But if you want the source of the problem, and not the symptoms, maybe we have to go into the past.

What I mean is that we have to really find out what the problem is and why the team is in the shape its in right now.

So we can agree that the offense isnt up to par especially when it comes to putting points on the board.

The defense seems to be alright, though its far more inconsistent though it may be creating more turnovers.

Injuries once again are hitting the team hard, with a focus on the offensive line.

The franchise lacks direction, lets just say thats the coaching and front office.

I think thats a fair start for now. What do we need to put on the table first.

I am a Redskins fan and a Washington Area native

I am a fan of Jason Campbell, though I will remain realistic (hes not Fran Tarkenton out there)

I am not a fan of Cerrato, Snyder, Jon Gruden, or Bill Cowher (I like Cowher as a person, I just dont think hes a great coach)

I did not play football so all my "knowledge" of the game is either through observation or listening to coaches (not named Madden) speak. I might have to post just on my observations of the game.

I remain dubious of most analysts and commentators as they seem to change their opinions and criteria from day to day frequently ignoring facts.

Im going to try my best to step away from hyperbole and will challenge it directly

I think thats enough for now. In our next post we will take a look at the offense

Rip Hamilton: A Head Like None Other

2009-10-14T14:53:00.003-04:00

Weve talked about big heads. Weve seen guys with huge heads. Weve seen ladies with huge heads. But never before have I seen one such like this.

I was just on ESPN (something I rarely do these days)

Didja see it? Ill crop it for you.

WOOOOOO man, look at that head

Hes got a pointed scalp, like a terradactyl or a terradon.

Rip Hamilton, half man, half terradactyl.

(NOTE: If I was in a funnier mood here is where Id photoshop in a terradactyl head on rip's body or put a jersey on the above dinosaur)

My First Letter of Rejection

2009-10-06T13:50:00.003-04:00

I just got my first LOR. For some people this is a sad moment. Myself on the other hand? Im actually kind of pumped. One thing I should clarify, this isnt my first LOR of this hiring season. No, this is my first letter of rejection EVER (as far as employment goes).

Im not bragging here. I dont mean to say that I never get turned down. Its not like I apply for any job and I get call backs for all of them. I dont get LORs. Confused still?

Ok, lets say I applied for 100 jobs over the last 3 years. I got zero LORs. Until today.

So whats the significance? I just got it. I just made sense of it all. 100 applications to 100 different places met with 100 sepearate silences.

Ive been getting ice grilled. Every place that hasnt sent me a LOR, didnt call back, or even acknowledge me was ice grilling me via the US Postal Service.

Diabolical.

CCM: Comically Clown Moves

2009-10-05T14:42:00.005-04:00

Moves: We talk about moves here alot. We all know about moves, we make moves every day, and we plot more moves for tommorow.

Clown Moves: A Clown move is a bad move. Its a move that was doomed to fail from the start. After youve made a clown move, it is evident how bad a move it was. We have talked about clown moves before here.

Comically Clown Moves (CCMs): The highest level of Clown Move is the Comically Clown Move. Typically this is reserved to colossal failures. When you set out to make this move, there was no sense in it whatsoever.

Heres a solid one: I had a friend who started going out on hot nights with wet jeans. He thought it was genius. The wet jeans would keep you cool and naturally dry as the night went on.

Clearly this is the epitome of a CCM. You cant make moves in wet jeans. Wet jeans are just an awful sensation to experience, they would create almost a jungle like ecosystem for your lower half, and what kind of company is going to hang out with someone with constantly wet jeans. CCM.

All this is to share with you this:

College removes zombie plan from site

Im not going to tell you that zombies are real or the threat of the zombie apocalypse is legitimate. Im not going to tell you that writing up a plan for said threat is a CCM. However, every day that the zombie outbreak doesnt happen makes it more likely that it will happen the next day. Once you put a counter zombie plan into effect, taking it down make no sense whatsoever.

What happens if the zombie outbreak really does happen? Youre sitting there, with your pride, getting your face eaten. Or if its not exactly zombies but the response you need to counter the effects are similar to your zombie counter plan, youd be able to put your plan into motion and actually make a game changing move.

Also:

Reading Rainbow Canceled

Self explanatory. But specifically 2 things. It got canceled because "to a shift in the philosophy of educational television programming. The change started with the Department of Education under the Bush administration, he explains, which wanted to see a much heavier focus on the basic tools of reading — like phonics and spelling." Also RR taught kids why to read, not how to read which apparently isnt needed in today's society. We only need to teach kids how to read.

If you sincerely believe that the how is that important, you cant ignore the value that a show like RR brought. Bring in another show. Heres an idea, add a segment to RR that taught the how. Clearly this is just a terrible move through and through.

Pour one out for RR:

What was the new GI Joe movie missing?

2009-10-01T10:48:00.000-04:00

INSANE BATTLE CRIES!!!1!1!!one!!

I remember as a kid seeing the 2 forces worked into a frenzy with the utterance of simple phrases. The key was always the delivery

Heres the Cobra highlight reel, focus on Storm Shadow (ninja in white):

Do you hear the conviction in his voice? Blood Curdling. If you can find a clip of Destro leading the charge its even more intense.

Heres the GI Joe battle cry.

Notice how the cry itself isnt that insane, but the conviction is still evidenced by their total disregard for safety and common sense battle tactics. They are riding tanks with the hatches open, charging headfirst into hails of laser fire, driving a sports car off a cliff headfirst into a battle with tanks, jumping off of exploding helicopters and at one point hanging from what I can only guess is a weather satellite. (Also watch for Snake Eyes pimp slapping Destro at 2:01)

I never got the conviction in the movie. Still a fun one though.

Weathering the Economic Malestrom: Seizing the Opportunity

2009-09-27T23:31:00.000-04:00

With the economy sinking faster and further by the day, people are wondering what they can do to better weather the storm. Try this:

First, you need to be up on current events. Link here.

Lets get it all out on the table. Robbery is not something we condone here at the Memoirs. What I want to focus on here is the great decision making that occurred after the robbery was under way. Most people misread the events and think that these ruffians were out for the purse and ended up stealing the chicken. On the contrary, it looks like they were out for the chicken after all and just ended up stealing the purse.

I digress, the first lesson to learn is perseverance. At first they were denied ("give us the chicken"), but they kept trying until they saw results (you know what time it is). Hopefully in your lives its not robbery, but something positive, but we dont judge here.

The second lesson is why we are here today. Regardless of what you think the target of the robbery was, they made the most of their day. They went for one item (chicken) and saw an opening for more (purse). Obviously I dont want you robbing people but lets walk through an example.

Lets say you finally decided to stop wearing your bluetooth headset and you realize its collecting dust. Why not put that on ebay and make some money back? When you go to mail it to the buyer, you might actually interact with people/make some contacts.

So take keep your eyes open for opportunities, even when making moves.

Coming Up: Of Chicken and Pimps and Pimps

2009-09-25T00:17:00.000-04:00

We will talk about a chicken robbery, a movie about a pimp starring Superman and Morgan Freeman, and a fantastically bad movie that dropped the following line:

"I'm a pimp. And pimps don't commit suicide. "

Top. That.

From the Vault: Thief

2009-09-21T20:56:00.000-04:00

So I present to you, From the Depths of the Vault...

Thief (1981), Starring James Caan, Directed by Michael Mann.

When I was searching through the Vault I happened upon a movie I hadnt even heard of. Quick look at the rundown of the movie and you should be pumped.

Heres the synopsis off Yahoo Movies:

After 11 years in prison, an aging master safecracker (James Caan) decides to pull one more job before retiring to a quiet, peaceful life. However, the mob finds him much too valuable and refuses to let him retire, keeping him trapped in the life he so desperately wants to leave behind. An introspective look at a man reevaluating the life he's lived, THIEF is a fascinating, intense film, based on the novel by Frank Hohimer.

About a thief

Starring James Caan (who Im sure could still kick a ton of ass to this day)

Directed by Michael Mann.

Looking at that we have the recipe for a good film. Well Ill be honest here. I was disappointed by this. It was still a quality movie, but I thought it was going to be a knockout. Youve got the potential for greatness here. Yeah sure, maybe you dont like Mike Mann, or you might not really know about James Caan, or you might not be into crime movies. Id just like to say that if you dont like crime movies something is wrong with you.

Mike Mann gave us the iconic series Miami Vice which honestly showcased the fashion and style of an entire decade. Hes got a unique visual style which is just fun to watch. Im always curious to check out a Mike Mann movie.

As far as James Caan, there are two reasons why you need to be cool with Jim Caan. First, hes responsible for one of the most iconic ass-beatings on film:

And he also got one of the toughest death scenes in the same film:

No spoiler alert here because you should have scene The Godfather by now.

And lets be clear here, Caan is great in this movie. I totally bought everything he did in the movie. I bought that he was an ex-con, a skilled cat burglar, a man who wanted more, etc. They dont have him doing stuff that seems out of place. Hes playing a guy who didnt go to school, isnt super smart, and has no real skills but being real. He runs a club, he runs a used cars lot, and he robs big targets. Simple. Hes not hacking computers. Hes not doing gymnastics over laser eyes.

Which I credit Mann with that I suppose. Mann is known for his super stylized visuals including dynamic camera angles and intense colors. To an extent, they are here. But they are also very toned down which I think suits the character Caan is portraying. When the capers are going down they are visually pleasing. They use actual machinery used in the type of crimes that they are documenting. Oxygen Lances, specialized drills, and some other smaller stuff. Its really interesting and fun to watch the capers go down.

Which I suppose is where things go wrong here for me. This movie really isnt about being a thief, or what it takes to be a thief. Its about Caan's character at the end of his career. But he doesnt struggle to get the job done or physically loses his talents. Hes just tired of the game and wants to live legit. Which is fine, a compelling storyline Im sure. But there are 2 heists in the movie, one to open (which is money), and the big caper. 122 minute movie and I feel like alot of the movie wasnt necessary or even beneficial.

There is a sub plot about how the cops get involved after he makes the deal with the crime boss for one more job. Honestly the cops never do anything important in the movie and dont really do anything to advance the story or develop a character. I found them typical and boring. Theres a sequence where they follow Caan after hes released from holding. I could be misremembering, but totally irrelevant sequence. Could have cut probably 15 minutes from the film for its improvement or better yet, replace them with another heist sequence.

Its a cool movie, not a bad watch, but you have to think its a misfire of sorts. Not enough theiving. Theres parts of the movie which are meant to show you why Caan goes against his better judgement to go for a bigger score. They do work, but Im not sure you needed it to buy it. Its tough for an ex-con to adopt a kid, we know this. Its tough for an ex-con to buy a good house in a nice part of town, we know this. We didnt need sequences to show us that. Granted, that scene where they are trying to adopt, Caan is brilliant. I bought the emotion of his character. I honestly think we could have had a really stylish Mann-montage that would have replaced the police storyline, replaced the sequences that are meant to show how hard it is for Caan's character to acheive his dream, then had the adoption sequence, and still been shorter and more effective.

I keep coming back to the need to shorten the movie or add more to catch your attention because the final sequence is way too short/ not intense enough. Caan definitely ramps it up but considering what they did to him and how powerful this boss is supposed to be, it was way to easy to run through the crime lord's home. It actually might have been cool to see Caan use his skills to break in/widdle down the oppositions but I digress. You want him to kill everyone who has crossed him, you want him to destroy the forces against him, and really he just walks over some goons and walks out. I just wanted more I suppose.

As far as the cast, Belushi is an odd choice for his heist partner, though I will credit him for a good performance. Willie Nelson seems to be out of place (and somehow looks older, not younger). You cant hate Willie Nelson but I couldnt buy him as a hardened criminal. I suppose hes supposed to be someone who doesnt belong in jail, but still I dont think he was a great choice. The crime boss didnt work for me. I had only seen him in roles where he was like a benevolent grandfather, not a ruthless criminal mastermind. Watch out for a young(er) Dennis Farina.

All in all, this is a movie you might want to check out but its certainly not one you will rant and rave about. Caan is great per usual, but its just a underperforming movie.

Check it out for yourself.

Dont Worry, Im not Jumping on the Bandwagon

2009-09-16T15:14:00.000-04:00

So everyones, heard about the nonsense with Kanye being a drunken fool and kind of ruining Taylor Swift's moment. I dont care to comment on the situation.

What I do care about is talking about this female. Beyond the (apparently full body and real skin) snakeskin dress, beyond being with Kanye, beyond the hair style from the future (she looks like Ilia from the first Star Trek movie).

Shes got a Tom Brady sized head here. Look at this thing. Its bulbous. Its round. And because of that hairstyle, it looks like its glowing. Im not sure you can look directly at it its so big and luminescent. Look at it side by side.

As tall as Brady's head is, hers is long. Like shes got extra lobes in the back of her brain or something. Maybe her occipital lobe or parietal lobes are overdeveloped. Perhaps she can see into the future, or maybe shes extra sensory. Maybe shes the Queen of Blood's decendents.

Weathering the Economic Malestrom: Hateful Hiring Practices

2009-09-07T20:53:00.001-04:00

I know, normally when you see the title for this post you expect to get some sound financial advice or some kind of commentary on the economy past present or future. This time I look to you people for some understanding.

I am currently looking for work. Its a down economy, jobs are hard to come by. We all know this. Its not uncommon to search for work with no success. In fact, I have seen alot of places who have webpages for their "careers" section. Here you might expect to find information about what they expect from their employees, what jobs they normally hire for, etc. Even in the case where the company isnt hiring typically you can still apply or at least send in a resume to be looked at or archived. I found this:

Did you see that? Click it, magnify that. Of course the identifying information has been blacked out but I just want you to see the body text. They have a careers page, with no careers on it. All that stuff you expect that we talked about isnt there. No information about what they normally hire for. Nothing about requirements and expectations of their employees. There isnt a place to contact a hiring employee. There isnt a place to leave a resume or just make it known you want work.

That means that this company has a "Careers" page just to say that there arent any careers. That might be one of the most hateful things Ive ever heard. The rest of the website is guided at telling you how sweet this place is. It goes so far as to call itself the hub between the economic success of the past and the promises of the future. Its even got attractive women in the pictures for the company. This makes the "Careers" page all the more hateful. And I respect that. There isnt even a place to email in a hateful response to the company to complain about being teased like that. I cant counter hate. That means this is hate-proof-hate.

My question to you is the following: How often have you seen this? I have to admit Ive gone to a few interviews just to have them tell me that either the interview wasnt part of the hiring process or they arent actually hiring.

Next: Whats the economic sense in still running things like careers pages with no careers, or interview that have no impact on the hiring process?

Then it hits me. See that guy in the picture. Recognize him? Weve seen him before, but along time ago. (See http://www.geocities.com/eljeasel/10.html). See him at #3? How about now

I cant be sure. The hair is a little different, the ubiquitous mock turtleneck is missing, but you cant fool me. Thats the Man. Who else could claim the economic success of not only the past but the future? Who else could innovate hate-proof-hate? If this isnt the Man, I shudder to think theres another cabable of such diabolic tactics.

From the Vault: Queen of Blood

2009-09-07T12:31:00.000-04:00

So I present to you, From the Depths of the Vault...

Queen of Blood. (1966)

When you read the synopsis it seems like the movie might be kind of sweet.

"It's the year 1990 and scientists receive a distress call from an alien spaceship that has crash-landed on Mars. Dr Farraday (Rathbone) decides to send a team of astronauts, including Allan Brenner (Saxon) and Paul Grant (Hopper), on a rescue mission. On the planet, they discover just one survivor. This green-skinned alien is brought aboard, but when one man is attacked and drained of his blood, the survivors are soon racing home, before they too become victim to the bloodsucker."

Lets see here...

Space
Aliens
Vampires
Denis Hopper
Basil Rathbone

I think everyone has encountered Hopper at some point and its really cool to see a young Hopper in this role. John Saxon also has a sizeable role in the movie. Most people will recognize him from his role as Roper in the CLASSIC Enter the Dragon. Honestly, I picked the movie out because it has Basil Rathbone who I know from his spot on performance as Sherlock Holmes. And really, hes probably miscast here but hes just so respectable that you dont really mind.

Straight up, I think this movie was pretty poor. I thought the acting was flat, the scenes seemed oddly paced, and it dragged. The whole "Queen of Blood" part of the movie took a lone time to even enter the movie and it was probably the best part. The special effects are dated of course but they fit the whole atmosphere of the movie I think. The real shortcoming of the movie is the total lack of tension. There really isnt the sense of dread of whats coming next or doubt that everything is going to be ok.

The plot on paper is very interesting though and somehow familiar yet when it unfolds its seems totally new. And when I went to pull up the trailer off YouTube and it becomes clear why.

watchthemagicpumpkin: Anyone else catch how blatantly the makers of Alien ripped this thing off 13 years later?

Yeah, it is the Alien plot in essence. No wonder. People in space encounter shipwreck, shipwreck houses antagonistic alien presence, terror ensures. Thats the part of the movie that works, it just takes way too long to get there. However, the ending is great and totally sets up a sequel which I might talk about in another R+R.

And I dont know what they are talking about, the Queen of Blood wasnt hideous. She was fine. Damn fine. Me and Jim Kirk would be fighting over that green ass. The just took a fine czech girl and painted her green. So shes green and fine? Im cool with that.

MRC Update

2009-08-22T18:56:00.000-04:00

Previously the MRC Spotlight section was supposed to chronicle my adventures in the MRC. The Media Resource Center at the University of Richmond. When I discovered the MRC I was astonished. A collection, within the library of audiobooks, dvds, vhs cassettes, an auditorium, and dozens of computers all available for UR staff and students to use. A good portion of higher learning institutes have similar departments, but here at UR I delved into such an archive.

It was great because it had a mix of titles both mainstream and little known gems (and turds). Perfect material for the Memoirs. So I would often check out some older movies or some lesser known movies and try to increase my understanding of cinema and storytelling and the history thereof. It was a great way to took at things besides new releases which seem to beg for reviews and not too much analysis. Besides, I want to reserve some titles for R&R.

But, I have graduated (shockingly) which likely means my access to the MRC is cut off. However, some parties (which have asked to remain anonymous) have granted me access to a cache that makes the MRC look like child's play. I walked into the Vault and was amazed, much like how you would envision Chairman Kaga walking into kitchen stadium for the first time. This cache, called The Vault, will take the place of MRC. Those who remember the Old Memoirs should remember that I am indeed the Prince of Plunder so its only appropriate that I search this Vault for plunder. So I present to you, From the Depths of the Vault...

Cut that Meat II: Wrap Up

2009-08-18T19:59:00.000-04:00

I told you guys Id be doing a follow up, so here it is. Im going to give you a breakdown of what I did and provide a few notes like a retroactive journal of sorts.

So me and Dave decided to do this competition again. So I said less sweets, less junk, more excersize. 2 weeks in and I had gone up in weight (only a pound or two but still). So I decided to try something new.

Step 1: Surveying Your Situation

Its kind of hard to try to change your game up, when you dont really know what you currently are doing. What I mean is, you know what you do approximately every day and how much time you have. You know kind of what you eat every day, but I want you to get far more specific than kind of.

I kept a log of what I ate/drank for a few days. Personally, it was just a few days, but I made an excel spreadsheet. I was, and I bet you would be shocked at how much you are eating and where your calories are coming from. I kept track of calories and carbohydrates, but you could track anything - sugars, fats, fiber, protein whatever. Pick whatever categories you want, and keep a log for a few days, lets say a week.

For me, when I started my log I was already trying to watch what I ate. Even then, it was way higher than I wanted. Over 2000 calories, hundreds upon hundreds of carbohydrates. It was time to change things up.

Step 2: Plan a new Routine

When I say routine I dont mean get up a 8, eat food at 10. No, I mean a gameplan. Its up to you to personalize this to your own situation. And thats what I did, probably what you should do.

At this point you should probably identify which meals/items were killing you. Personally, it was big dinners that killed me. Im talking 1000 calorie feeding frenzies (which I still do from time to time). Upon suggestions from friends and family I decided on the following:

5 meals a day, every 2-3 hours
300-400 calories per meal
25 g carbs per meal

Simple. And very very do-able. Right off the bat we see that my daily caloric intake is reduced by 1/4 or more in some cases. For me, Ive never really been too focused on diet. This was the first time I had ever controlled what I ate. I loved it. We are a few weeks after the end of the competition and I still am staying pretty much on this routine. Its good for me I think and I welcome you to rework your diet/excersize routine

On the other hand, I am a huge fan of excersize. My goal wasnt really to do bulk up or lift a particular weight so I didnt have a fixed goal like that. Of course, I wanted to lose weight for the competition, but not at the cost of general fitness. That meant lightweights, high reps, calistenics, cardio, etc. It came down to every other day doing 20-30 minutes of cardio (either bike or running because I dont believe in the eliptical). Every other time I did some cardio, Id through in some other excersize (30 minutes or so). Already we see how managable this is. Most of the time its just 20 minutes of excersize, if not an hour.

Step 3: Do It

Just like our last "Maelstrom" post, you need to follow through. Really, the key to this is finding a proper pace. You can set out a Oregon Trail like strenuous pace but if you dont have the time for it, its just a waste. This is why you surveyed in step 1. If you only have an hour to work out on Tuesdays and Thursdays, then thats when you work out. If you are too sore to function after you work out after a few weeks of your routine, then maybe you should scale it back. If you are devoid of energy, maybe you should eat some more.

Fine tune your routine and do it.

Sci Fi Movies that All Can Enjoy

2009-08-11T16:37:00.001-04:00

I recently rewatched Star Trek (2009) and renoticed something. Everyone likes that movie. Men, women, children, old people, etc. And its refreshing to see that because there are so many people who pidgeon hole themselves into a particular genre or restrict themselves from a particular genre. "I dont like Sci Fi" for example. This list is for one purpose. If you have ever scene a sci fi movie and enjoyed it, these are some movies you should check out to change your outlook on an entire genre. And remember, the unexamined life isnt worth living. Nod to Socrates.

Lets put some things on the table. I disqualified all movies that were too intense. So while The Thing might be the greatest sci fi movie ever made, its got some wild scenes that the kiddies might not be ready for. By the way, everyone should see that movie at some point.

In no particular order:

1. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan - Beyond being a great Star Trek movie, its a good movie. It deals with growing old, revenge, love (both of friend and spouse), and obsession. And of course it has maybe the most famous villain/hero exchange of all time. If you liked this check out Star Trek III: Search for Spock.

2. Star Trek (2009) - Regardless of how you feel about any Star Trek, the newest ST is a great movie experience. Its fun, its fast, and its not made exclusively for Trek fans. It honors the series and welcomes new fans to a new start with familiar faces.

3. Serenity - Another fun one here. It looks pretty good and its written pretty well. If you like this check out the series Firefly which it is based on.

4. Starchaser: The Legend of Orin - An animated entry. Great music, great art direction. We see a young boy escape slavery and learn all about the universe all while trying to solve the riddle of a bladeless sword and take down an evil empire. Sweet.

5. Flash Gordon - An all pro QB and a female journalist stumble upon a scientist who then launches the 3 of them into space using an experimental rocket ship to stop the meteorological assaults on the earth by Ming the Merciless (played by Max von Sydow). They stumble into a world of ray guns and flashing bulbs and an evil empire of oppressed peoples that they must unite to take down Ming. Super campy, super awesome. With a soundtrack from Queen. Awesome.

6. Escape from New York - In a word, iconic. Air Force One goes down over New York City. Problem is that this world's New York is a giant prison colony enclosed on all sides by traps or walls. So the US Government apprehends Snake Plisken, a rogue super soldier of sorts to go find the president. To make sure he does this they put a microscopic bomb in his bloodstream that will detonate in 24 hours. Appearances from Lee Van Cleef and Isaac Hayes, both playing villains.

7. Tremors - This is probably the most gorey of the recommendations, so be warened. Giant worm creatures threaten a small western town. So Fred Ward, Kevin Bacon, and Reba McIntyre have to take the population of the town and escape. Solid flick.

8. Westworld - Westworld has made an appearance on the Memoirs before so Ill refrain from commenting too much.

9. Planet of the Apes - Classic. And Im not talking about that misfire with Marky Mark. Charlton Heston uses a prototype space ship and accidentally ends up on a strange planet run by intelligent Apes who use humans (who are not intelligent) as labor animals. Features maybe the greatest ending of all time.

10. The Mad Maxes - Solid fun entries which feature a young Mel Gibson (with real Aussie accent). Post apocalyptic fun. A little intense but should be ok for everyone.

11. Terminator 2 - Im not a huge T2 fan (Edward Furlong kills it for me), but its an adventure. Yes its rated R but its not a hard R, should be ok for most kids but use discretion. I prefer Terminator 1 but its a bit darker/more intense than Id recommend for kids.

12. Jurassic Park - Its a Cricton novel that they turned into a solid movie. Someone figures out how to recreate dinosaurs and decides to make an amusement park out of it. What could go wrong?

13. The Matrix - Im not a fan of this movie. But its fun, and pretty well done. Pretty visuals overcome a poor script and generally poor casting.

14. Empire Strikes Back (and Vicariously Star Wars) - Now Im not going to tell you to become a SW fan. But Empire Strikes Back, is a good good movie with a great great ending. Its made better because its a true sequel, progressing story elements and building tension. Id say check out Star Wars too beforehand to establish the characters in your mind.

Cut that Meat II: The Saga Continues

2009-08-10T18:04:00.001-04:00

Final Score: Remember, the goal for me was to lose weight while Dave had to put it on.

"The Mongoose" JBell with a loss of 18.6 lbs, for a final weight of 173 lbs even.

"The Silverback" Dave Esposito with a gain of 8 lbs for a final weight of 156 lbs.

So that means I win this round by 10.6 lbs. Dave fought hard, this round was to be mine. I will follow up with a breakdown of what I did to acheive this.

Heres some more stats:

I started at 191.6 lbs with blood pressure numbers of 127/81 with 110 BPM

Now (August 10) Im at 173 lbs with blood pressure numbers of 121/77 with 83 BPM. I also cut about 8% of my body fat. Very happy with this. Im going to continue on with what Ive been doing and throw in some weightlifting. Lets see what I look like in a few weeks after that.

I am Back

2009-08-01T17:41:00.000-04:00

Well. I am Back. I have returned. Like Conan through the wheel, the pit, intense training, and the final battle, I still stand. Hopefully, that will be the last time this blog will mention that which name can never be spoken.

Here is a representation of me in day one of that which name can never be spoken:

And then day two of that which name cannot be spoken:

Hopefully youve checked out the new banner. Its just part of the new updates and upgrades youll be seeing around these parts soon. Ill be designing an icon to use as well. If you want to design one and submit it, feel free.

What to look out for:

Revision and Reclamation: X Series including Wolverine, AvP, and a touch of of the Terminator
franchise.

Im also going to try to secure a camera and start doing vlogs potentially.

Just keep your eyes peeled

Weathering the Economic Maelstrom: Summertime

2009-07-13T18:55:00.000-04:00

With the economy sinking faster and further by the day, people are wondering what they can do to better weather the storm. Try this:

Its the Summer. Its hot. Sometimes its muggy. You got summer storms. You got hail in some places. Etc

The key to enjoying the season is maximizing the Summer. Doing the best, most, and cost-effecting things whenever you get the chance.

1. Diagnosing your personal affiliation.

Some people love Summer, some people hate summer. You have to honestly realize where you lay. Its possible to be mixed (eg: I like the longer days but hate the heat). Then you have to figure out what about the summer you like/dislike in particular. Do you like the cool nights? Is it the girls out by the pool? You like longer days? Grilling out? Thats something you have to realize.

2. Research Possibilities.

Once youve diagnosed where you stand what you like, you have to turn to what you can get to in your personal situation. Money might be tighter than you like, or you might have just enough for one big outing.

For example, you might like summer cause you get to walk around in a bathing suit at the beach in Cabo. Well, maybe you cant afford Cabo this year. Try something more low key. Something on the coast, maybe local, or even checking out a lakehouse. This is really like 2b. Dont forget where you are. If you live by a river or tributary, you can likely go to the river and picnic for free.

Never forget that you likely have some friends/collegues who you can reach out to. Its the time to get together and grill out - do so. Get some people together, throw in $5-10 and have a good meal along with some priceless comraderie. Who knows, you go to the pool and grill up some dope tuna steaks or some saffron chicken tortillas with red onion, that dime in the chocolate monokini might come talk to you and thats half the battle right there (which illustrates another key lesson, always bring extra).

Check out the local privately owned ice cream/coffee shops. See if you can find a place that has cheap, delicious snacks and maybe a discount for repeat customers. Basically make moves.

3. Following Through.

This is something we are all guilty of: making big plans, but following through like a mouse. Its a waste to talk big about a trip to the Italian Riviera and end up not going at all. Dream big, act big. If youve planned 3 big trips in a row and havent gone anywhere, time to reaccess. Go local, go quickly, and then remind yourself that if you can have this good a time down the street, what would it be like in an exotic local. Renew your dreams.

Applying the Creative Codex: X-Series

2009-07-09T00:04:00.000-04:00

So, lets use this so called Creative Codex and apply it to something.

The X-Series.

No need for a ton of intro here. Lets just apply some Tenets in order and see how it works.

1. The biggest problem that relates to tenet 1, Give Them a Reason to Suspend Their Disbelief, is power levels. You have a bunch of people doing things that arent possible, help the audience supend their disbelief. So give them rules to understand and then stick to them. This really isnt hard to do either. If you check out the early Claremont X stuff (which you should) he does this with exposition either through dialogue or narration. Ill use Cyclops for example. He metabolizes sunlight into optic blasts of force and he cant stop doing that; hes a battery. I dont think anyone who isnt versed in the X Lore knows or cares; this might be a bad thing. We want everyone to believe that the XMen live and train all day, doesnt it make sense that they would have some higher knowledge of their powers and abilities? Of course it only adds to what you can do to build drama. If you limit a person's power, in our example Cyclops, you can have a massive battle at night where Cyclops runs out of solar energy and must use guile or relies on his teamates. Indeed, in the first movie, the only drama thats semi effective is the limit on Magneto's might (the whole needing Rogue plotline). But thats only part of the problem here.

Clearly not all mutants are created equal. The guy who shoots lasers out his face might be a little more effective than the guy whose power give him alot of body hair. Especially in the first movie yet pretty true during the series, the XMen were ineffective. I dont have a problem with protagonists that are outmatched or outgunned. Clearly, that can work. The XMen were damn near inept. Check out the first movie as the XMen get owned in the train station, I dont think they even mount an ineffective offense, they just get bumrushed. Later Toad kicks the entire teams ass by himself.

Thats right, a guy who shoots lasers from his face, a telepath and telekenetic, and lady who can shoot lightning bolts get handled by a guy with overactive spit glands and a long tongue. Does this seem right?

Heres the problem: The XMen arent a team. They dont really become a team either. Theres no significant growth of familiarity, nor improvement of battle efficiency. So the basic question in my mind becomes, why do the XMen suck? Are they just creme puff mutants? Are they just klutzes? Do they train in the X-Mansion? Poor instruction?

Beyond that, when you have a guy that shoots lasers from his face fighting a guy who needs to get in close to be effective, if he doesnt just blow him away you leave the audience asking "why isnt he shot yet?" If the guy with claws doesnt take people to claw city what is he doing in the game? SO, right off the bat, we need to address power levels and battle effectiveness. If you want to tell the audience that this is the team of mutants that get together to fight for mutant interests, they need to be capable of doing that or working on becoming that. I never got that in a significant way from the movies. Granted, Wolverine kicked ass in the Wolverine movie, and the team looked pretty good at the end of X2. But it seemed more like isolated performance than the fruits of teamwork and hard work. (Props to the attempt at a danger room scene)

So what would it look like? I have to point at the new Star Trek. They arent super powered but every named character had a purpose and worked as part of a machine. Sulu and Kirk close combat, Uhura on communications, Chekov applying his intellect all around the ship, Spock doing his Spock thing, etc. Especially in the finale, this machine got rolling and took care of business and it didnt leave the audience asking questions like "why is Scotty trying to fight people hand to hand" or "why isnt Kirk fighting someone?"

XMen could work like this pretty easily. Everyone has powers and abilities. Its not hard to imagine Wolverine and Colossus fighting on the frontlines, Storm engaging aerial threats, Cyclops on both the frontlines and at range coordinating the attack with Xavier feeding everyone orders telepathically.

So to sum up Tenet 1, we need to establish the rules of how relevant mutant's powers work and make people believe that this is a fine tuned group.

2. Things Happen for a Reason (2, CC). Really I dont have specific complaints. We didnt have Magneto stopping in south america to try to take over the drug game. I think that more applies to the Wolverine prequel. Stryker's movtives become kind of murky at the end. We spend the whole movie chasing Wolverine, then all of a sudden Stryker lets Wolverine go? Why chase him in the first place? That just kind of invalidates the previous 100 or so minutes.

3. Lets look at Presentation, Presentation, Presentation (3,CC). For the most part, the movies dont look bad. I just dont think they look great, an area that could be improved. Specifically, costumes and the X-Mansion. I understand, you cant just take the comic and put it onscreen without changes. At the same time, the costumes arent just there for no reason. In the case of the X-Men, their costumes are part of Xavier's idea for embracing mutanthood. Accordingly, every mutant is supposed to work on mastering their mutant abilties and become a new person, reflected in multiple ways including a codename and an individual costume (though designed in similar style).

In the movie, everyone had the same 2 piece black leather X-suit. I wasnt really sure why they all had generic biker gear. For visual inspiration I look to two X series, Xtreme X-Men and Ultimate X-men. Both had great diverse costumes that had interesting colored accents while being a far cry for the "yellow spandex" lamented in the movie.

Asides from the blue chick, do these people appear to be wearing different outfits? Not really. Its just people wearing black leather. Let me point to another movie which has similar costume design:

If the GI Joe Movie Abomination shares design with your movie, you need new designs. Period. Heres two pics from Ultimate and Xtreme. Notice how each costume is different, and every costume has more to it than just one color, black.

Instantly Xavier's dream is watered down because we arent given the full breadth of his vision. You let the audience in on why they use codenames and unique costumes, we can add another layer of drama. Plus it will help the eye follow when action gets massive/quick.

If you change something as well known as the costumes in the X universe, you risk losing the audience. They want to see the costumes on screen. You can change them, but make them look good, or give them a legitimate reason it must look different. Take Juggernaut. His costume didnt look bad (a little like a dominatrix but I digress, its work safe), but at the same time, it wasnt really something that needed to be changed. If Juggs looked like Juggs, it probably would have worked better. Then on the other end of the spectrum, you got Magneto's new look. He looked terrible, and that helmet looked laughable. It didnt need to be changed either, so its pointless, looks bad, and has no real redeeming qualities (I think they improved it as the series went along).

Some of the more elaborate designs were just elaborate for no reason. Im speaking of course of the blue body paint plus flourishes. Hours of makeup work that really didnt have any significant impact on the movie. Rebecca Romijn (Stamos?) as Mystique was largely a miscast but she did a good job. But the body paint and rhinestones on her body didnt really add anything. Not that it was bad, just really pointless. Largely pointless. Sure it draws attention to her fantastic figure, but there are easier/better ways to do that than saying "oh look, we put a model in body paint". The runes on Nightcrawler almost worked, but really, talked about one minute, irrelevant the next, character gone in the next movie. So, really, I dont see the reason to do either of these intensive changes. Theres potential, but really, its just was waste.

The mansion looked fine. I thought the sub levels looked a little too shiny. Like they were constantly buffed, unreal. Sure, you could explain that with some super high tech that the X Men use, but that really wasnt present in the movies. Id either tone that down, or show just how advanced the XMen's equipment is.

4. I had a big problem with the casting of the movie (4, CC). They hit some out of the park. Patrick Stewart as Xavier, Alan Cummings as Nightcrawler, and even Brian Cox as Stryker was suprisingly good. However, some casting choices were misfires or just underperforming. Halle Berry is ok as Storm, but not perfect. Storm is an african queen and is decidedly regal. Im not sure Halle Berry can pull off regal. So where do you go? Get a legit african woman, maybe even Nbushe Wright (I mention her because I have always thought she was fine).

I didnt like Tyler Mane as Sabretooth, but that might just be a product of making him a silent goon. I didnt like alot of things but lets get to the bigger fish. Ian Mckellen as Magneto. I love Ian Mckellen and have grown to like his Magneto actually. However, I think hes just too old to be imposing or threatening. When Magneto comes on the scene, people are supposed to be tensing up at the sight of him. Im not sure he can compel that sort of reaction. Who can? I dont really have an answer, maybe Ed Harris? Check out his performance in History of Violence, hes not just a bad guy, hes menacing. But intelligent menacing. Contrast that to his character in The Rock, whos the villain, but is altruistic. Is that not Magneto? Someone who has a good scowl, good intentions, but when it comes down to it can be menacing and in sum, you just dont want to cross this man.

Then we get to the general complaint I have of the lesser Xmen: too young. The early X books deal with young people struggling with mutantcy and adulthood. But you read Claremont's run and it quickly drops that and shoots much higher. So when we have characters like Pyro (who oddly is prominent in the series), Iceman, Rogue, Colossus all cast as sort of teen/younger adults, all their drama can be is teen drama unless its done perfectly. A few of their scenes actually happen in a high school classroom. We are talking about stuff that can affect the fate of humanity, teen drama - really?

So in general, by casting more mature actors, you can pull off more mature themes. Now of course I dont mean dealing with umemployment, trouble pulling off mortgages payments or that stuff. Take the romance between Iceman and Rogue in the series. Its just high school puppy love. Does it really get to a point where it moves the audience? Not really. Can it? Absolutely, but we have to grow with them and in a movie series thats got so many characters thats really hard. Now lets age them, lets make them more mature. Theyve tested their love on the battlefield of life. When someone who knows love loses their love, that can be real. And though it wasnt done well, the loss between Jean and Scott is probably the most significant love story in the entire series and its not because of anything besides its just not teen angst. The teen girl gets her heart broken by some macho dbag? Who cares, shell get over it. Loyal wife and possible mother gets left by any guy? Immediately the audience is choosing a side and investing in it (maybe even if its cheesey). A villain who is matured and poised is threatening and compelling. A villain whos young and brash is just a punk. Theres a place for a punk, but if you want someone to care about a villain figure, dont make him a punk (Pyro).

So in sum, we need to tune to ccast to the characters and in general get more adult actors and tune the costume design more.

5. The scripts for the most part are ok in the series (5, CC). Maybe the strongest is X2. The XMen have a couple of lesser catch phrases. Would like to see "Fastball Special," "To me my X-Men," and some others thrown in there. Honestly, most of the lines are forgetable. A narrator might help, as some of the most compelling quotables are either thoughts or narrated in the books. I guess I have to comment on the script of Wolverine, too many point where Wolverine drops down and screams up. Yeah, it happens, yeah its Wolverine, but just too often.

6. The closest thing to a weak sidekick is probably Gambit and Wraith in the Wolverine movie (6, CC). Both were terrible, cliched, and downright annoying. Lesson learned? Less non actors. More actual dialogue. No need to use a bad rapper. Im not sure to even call him a rapper, but thats another post topic. You need a big guy, someone who looks like he can deal out some punishment? Heres where you use an athelete, probably a linebacker. Imagine Ray Lewis or Brian Orakpo instead of Will I Am. When he steps to Sabretooth, the audience wont think "this guy is a midget whos about to get whooped" they will be thinking "this is about to be class of the titans." Plus, when Creed kills Wraith it will be "oh snap, he just killed a 250+ LB killing machine, hes a monster!"

Gambit was just walking cliches and had no actual character. Literally everything he said/did was groanworthy. Plus, his action sequences were dated and confusing. Wraith was pretty much the same. When he pulled punches on Sabretooth I laughed out loud and was relieved to see him get iced.

7. Outside of the before mentioned, the one liners actually werent bad (7, CC). When Cyclops and Wolverine have their banter back and forth, it worked, it fit. Most importantly, it was how their interaction should work. They dont like each other, kind of need each other, and are dicks to each other. So, until I remember otherwise, passing grade. Need to see the catchphrases.

8. Cinemetography was good, just not fitting. What I mean is, there wasnt alot of weird akward shots where it took away from the action. Take Ang Lee's The Hulk. He uses alot of cuts and tries to create a comic book onscreen and its very bold, maybe visionary. But it doesnt really work and ends up taking away from the movie. Theres none of that in the X series really. The X series should have alot of variety in shots, which there were. I just think there should be more. Massive battles need to show you the tight and wide shots, we got some of that.

The first X movie suffers from Matrix-itis, alot of faux bullet time and Yuen Wo-Ping styled fisticuffs. It doesnt look bad, it just might be better served if it was a little more inspired. X2? Perfect. The action was much sleeker and it didnt feel like I was watching a Matrix knockoff. Slo mo was used to show just how crazy nightcrawler was moving. So in general, X2 got it right.

9. Lets transition to Sound is a Weapon (9, CC). Most of people 15-35 grew up watching the X-Men cartoon on Saturday mornings. That show could give us 2 things that we should take note of. Theme song. That was an EPIC theme song and it should be used in the movie at least in some fashion. Also, the sound effect for certain key mutant abilities should also be used. I saw this work in the Star Trek movie. When they hit the transporters and it made the same sound as in the 60s series it felt right. When the credits rolled and the old theme song played I almost teared up. It was so right, so respectful of the source it made me wish someone would do the same with every medium jumping work ever.

How does that translate to the X series? Well, why not use the theme song? Even if it was just in the credits? Why not drop some of those sound effects? When Magneto uses his power, or when Cyclops shoots his optic blasts, or when Xavier uses his power, or when Gambit throws his cards use the same one from the cartoon. Imagine during Wolverine, when Gambit charged and threw his cards at Logan if they used the sound effects from the cartoon. That theatre would have gone apeshit.

Its a really easy way to get a crowd on your side, and it would add a level of "familiarity"

10. Be Mindful of Where You Aim. I only really have two things thing to focus on. First, "Im the Juggernaut, Bitch!" Personally, I knew what was going on, and I loved it. And such a line is funny on its own. Thats something that worked probably. On the other hand you have the general irrelevance of the movie. Does the X series really present moral issues? I dont feel like it does.

Jeez, looking at this now I realize that this wasnt really well done and its really tacked on. Ah well...

The books do. Or at least when they are good they do. On its most basic level the X books are about fear and acceptance (and other things). When the XMen are young, its a fear that you are different, you cant fit in. When they grow up, so does their worries. As the world gets hip to what mutancy is, its a fear of the other and a fight to protect oneself from someone who is different./ fight to protect oneself from persecution. The movies almost get that I think.

But it doesnt really hit it hard enough. Ok, clearly the world fears them. And the XMen fight to survive. But it doenst pose the larger questions. Militancy vs Pacifism. How far can you go to protect yourself before its inhumane? How far do you take you cause, and to what point? In other words, what price is too much to pay to be right/win? In some ways, the series gets these, but its just not heavy enough.

We need to see an XMan give up. We need to see an XMan give up on Xavier's dream for Magneto's way. We need to see a core XMan try to pass as a non mutant. We need to see an XMan lose a loved one and question his existence and choose one way or the other, to continue on or to give up.

I have to say, The Dark Knight and Batman Begins both hit these points and its part of why people rallied behind these movies.

You might be thinking, the X movies made $1.5 billion off of a $500 M budget, who cares, thats 2 for 1.

Nolan's Batman series has made $1.4B off $330M in HALF the number of movies. Not everything is going to do Dark Knight numbers, but with some simple changes, this series could have literally twice the same amount of money, with no additional money required. Plus, you could have done it in less movies requiring less hassle with the actors. Basically, Im trying to make a movie series which not only is more weighty and critically better, but would finnancially be far superior in earning power. And if youre not trying to get dough, why are you buying the rights to a comic series?

Creative Codex: Rules I Would Use if I Made Movies

2009-07-07T19:15:00.000-04:00

I was working on my X4 idea as I was taking a little break from my studies. I felt the need to address the series before it and what you would need to do in order to take it from popcorn movie to something people can fall in love with. I began listing a few things that I had a problem with/I didnt think worked in the X-series, then expanded it to things that generally irritate me (and Im ho[ping I have the pulse of the average viewer). So here goes a breakdown of these things in general and I will reference them by number later in my works.

Behold, the Tenets of the Creative Codex.

1. Give Them a Reason to Suspend Their Disbelief - Youre asking people to believe something that they know isnt true so help them out. This isnt a call for realism, but rather a call for consistency. If the movie establishes rules, then stick to those rules. If you are asking the audience to believe someone is a threat to humanity, give them a reason to fear him. Dont ask the audience to buy that the 98 lb cheerleader just overpowered the 220 lbs serial killer unless you have some way of explaining that away.

2. Things Happen for a Reason - Perhaps the best way of illustrating this principal is to focus on the great plot twists in history. Commonly people will think of how they were caught totally off guard by those twists. These twists work for a number of reasons, namely set up. The storyteller set up a world complete with a norm, expectations of what is supposed to happen. So finally, after scenes and scenes of set up, they can pull the literary rug out from under us. Now, if the audience is following along, it doesnt make sense to make the characters in the story, or the events of the story do things that dont make sense in that story. Unlike the previous tenet, this isnt about doing things that the audience cant believe, but doing things that dont fit the story. This is when we see characters do things that dont fit in with their motivations and goals. Dont make the audience wonder why a character did something unexpected unless the point is to make them question the character and its motives.

3. Presentation, Presentation, Presentation - Things have to look right. Its hard for take a character seriously when they are dressed like a clown. Its hard to feel menace from a prop that looks flimsy. Things have to look right otherwise their appearance will be either irrelevant or distracting.

4. Casting is Crucial - Sometimes a well cast movie can overcome alot of the shortcomings of the script/direction/budget. What movie wouldnt be improved with Denzel, Connery, or some legendary actor? But casting is more than just getting big names, each part can be perfectly cast with total no names so long as they match the parts. That means the highly intelligent character needs to be played by someone who can portray that intelligence and the teen heart-throb needs to be able to pull off being the teen hearthrob (unless of course we are in the parody roles). Teen actors should play teen roles and minorities should play minorities just as a general rule. Note: having someone playing a different ethnicity can be an effective tool but must be used carfully. Good: Robert Downey Jr. in Tropic Thunder, Yul Brynner in anything he was ever in; Bad: Elizabeth Taylor in Cleopatra, Kathy Bates in North

5. Scripts are Sensative - With great actors and a great look, you can still have a underperforming movie if the script is bogged down with poor dialogue and cliche laden zingers. A great script can sometimes overcome poor facets of the work.

6. No Annoying Sidekick Characters - The only exception I can conceivably see is if the sidekick is only to get killed or is key to the movie. I could see a fairly entertaining work about someone who is the sidekick, but actually is the straight man to the main character's idiot act, but in order to avoid hurting the feelings of his best friend, always pretends to be the idiot sidekick. Instantly we see that to make this work we have to make his actually not annoying.

7. One Liners are Not for Rookies - A great one liner is something that is crafted and brings joy to the world. Its classic, timeless, able to be viewed 100 times and still bring pleasure. A one liner that doesnt work is a problem not only because it doesnt bring pleasure, but risks annoying the audience. Too many dud one liners can turn an audience hostile.

8. Cinematography Must Match the Content - A great scene is part content, part presentation. When the scene is full of tense dialogue, too many cuts can be distracting. A frenetic scene I guess if you were talking about writing, it still holds true. It is only when there is a strong balance that one can acheive a great production (unless your goal is parody and then thats a whole different ballgame). If you need a scene to be serious, using the wrong words will put the wrong imagery into the readers' minds.

9. Sound is a Weapon - The audience has multiple senses, why not take advantage of as many as you can. Imagine a gunfight, good guys shooting pistols against bad guys with pistols. Bang Bang bang. In comes the backup for the good guys and hes got a shotgun. If that shotgun fires and there a little noise, like a pop gun? That gun might as well shoot confetti. This point also refers to music. Nothing can kill a scene like inappropriate music. Sometimes a scene with no sound/music can be better than a scene with bad sound/music.

10. Be Mindful of Where You Aim - Lowest common denominator elements of your work can only go so high if they succeed. Elements aimed at the upper echelon of society can be lost on the rest of the audience. References to the Canterbury Tales wont get you much by way of impact on the common audience while putting joke characters in blackface will get you only cheap gut reactions.

So begins our saga with the Creative Codex. More Tenets will develop. Feel free to suggest your own in the comments please.

Why Tempt Fate: Terminator

2009-07-01T19:48:00.000-04:00

Im not sure I have to say much. Observe.

British Skynet satellite launched

CYBERDYNE Inc., Leading Edge of Cybernetics

Legendary

2009-06-25T16:29:00.000-04:00

Playing for Your National Team? Good.

Scoring a Game-Winning goal in the 88th Minute? Great.

After Scoring that Goal, Running over to the Camera, lifting your jersey and revealing a tattoo on your chest of your own name? Legendary.

Weathering the Economic Maelstrom: Reactionary Self Evaluation

2009-06-23T22:53:00.001-04:00

With the economy sinking faster and further by the day, people are wondering what they can do to better weather the storm. Try this:

Im taking a course this summer and we have class in a particular room. For obvious reasons they like to keep the room as cold as possible. People had complained about how cold the room was, so I can only guess that the hotel tried to make the room a little less cold. And people had noticed that the room was indeed warmer.

However, now people on the right side room were complaining about how warm the room was. Upon investigating I saw two things that confused me. The thermostat was on the same temperature as before, right about 62 degrees F. But on the right side of the room, the floor heating unit was on full blast.

Take that in. A/C on full. Heat on Blast. Net effect, a room that was tolerable. At least twice the energy costs.

Thats a clown move. Normally I dont tell people to react, but rather be proactive. But take some time, examine your costs and see if you are making some of these self negating moves.

Warrior Nation turns 50

2009-06-16T18:21:00.001-04:00

Today is the birthday of the Ultimate Warrior. These videos can commemorate this event in ways no words ever could.

Here is the video of the interview Christian mentions.

EPIC promo from an event in nearly every 80s baby's life. Warrior Vs. Hogan. Wrestlemania VI.

Yeah, Warrior is still jacked. If you arent training this hard, you arent training at all.

Coming up

2009-06-15T22:46:00.000-04:00

Im working on something huge. Another Revision and Reclamation, but its not AvP related. Its X-Related. Im going to redo Wolverine, but in order to do that I need to do X4. So Im going to drop X4 in my spare time (obviously studying comes first). Best part, it doesnt overwrite or supercede anything. It fits right in.

If you were going to do a continuity of the X films it would look like this:

Wolverine
X1
X2
X3
My X4
My Wolverine movie

I hope you like it and have a good one!

I get Ice Grilled Alot

2009-06-12T18:09:00.000-04:00

Professional Athletes I have been Ice Grilled by:

Brian Mitchell, incidentally, while training at Pro-Speed in 1998. (He was training, didnt want to talk to a 14 year old kid)

Juan Dixon, maliciously, in Baltimore in 2009. (Understandable, it was late, he was in a rush)

Shared a mutual, accidental Ice Grilling with Shawn Springs at Fair Oaks Mall in 2008. (accidentally instigated by me; a justified ice grilling)

Disclaimer: I harbor no Ill will against these men and remain fans of them all.

Review Roll

2009-06-08T21:54:00.000-04:00

I dont want to do full out reviews of these movies because I think more open discussions are more interesting. On deck: Terminator Salvation, Up, and a few older titles. This post will focus on Terminator Salvation and Up.

Terminator Salvation: Quick and dirty. This movie is getting a very mixed to negative response from critics and fans alike. Some of that is entirely deserved. I didnt hate it like everyone else for 2 reasons.

I had lowered expectations. Wolverine was probably going to be the low point of cheap popcorn movies until Transformers 2 comes out. I have seen the dregs of what sequels or cross media projects turn into so I was expecting that. And it was far better than say Catwoman or like Bloodrayne or Mortal Kombat: Annihilation something like that. Is that a problem? Absolutely, but thats another post.

This could be a good set up movie. Even though the movie is not a knockout (it really isnt a terrific movie), there is alot of stuff in the movie that made me ask questions. Im going to focus on the non-plothole variety of questions though there are those too (one silly point in the movie has the characters doing an outdoor surgery thats hard to believe all the while being silly). There were points in the movie where me and those in the theater with me were asking "why would x do y" and not because it was silly, but because it was interesting. Now you might be seeing why this depends on the sequel. If the next movies continue to ask and answer those questions, then this movie becomes really subtle and more interesting. Now of course its more likely that these questions either go ignored or are mishandled in the future. But I will wait to see where they go with it. Think Fellowship of the Ring leading into The Two Towers. Fellowship on its own is cool, but theres so much you want to know and The Two Towers drops the boom on alot of it. Id like to write some stuff about just that, but I digress

So we see a movie that was fun, good action, tons of Terminator porn, stuff blows up, theres alot of nods to the other movies. Is it great? Nope. Is it bad? I dont think so. Is it overshadowed by T1 and T2? Absolutley, but those are classics, not just sci fi classics. Just classic movies. The acting could have been better. The Script could have been better. Direction could have been better. Check the movie out for what it is, a summer popcorn movie with some familiar faces (yes and Arnold Cameo!) and characters.

Up: Not my kind of movie, but a great movie in itself. Well, I modify - this is totally my kind of movie, just handled differently than Im used to. Im not a huge fan of the new animated movies. I like my animation old school, give me some 80's or 90's old school stuff any day of the week. But I like good storytelling hands down, and this movie made me care about a story.

So heres what I mean. Ed Asner's character had such a simple story about growing old and losing your loved ones, your place in the world, and finally realizing that maybe you havent lead the life you always promised yourself youd start living tommorow, next week, or next year. For me, it was real. And I got watery eyed probably 3-4 times in the movie. But it goes further and you get to see that guy who youre caring about go out and seize his dreams. And its alot of fun. Good laughs, good ending, good fun.

The only thing I didnt like was the cub scout kid they throw in there. I found him too stupid to find funny and only at the very end did I care about him. To me, the dumb characters are great because they dont understand the nuances about society. They respond with improper responses to casual situations, but in the real moments of humanity they respond with such a warm and human response we remember why we love them and we end up cheering for them again. That kid in Up just didnt get it until the very end and Im not sure he got it at all, I just hope he did. Theres one scene (with the fire) where I almost swore out loud at the kid because he was just so insolent. Honestly, I would have liked it better without the kid at all, but I dont think the movie is as charming or as sucessfull without him ($137.2 million in ten days).

Did stuff look great? Absolutely, liked the art directions. It was cool to see something in 3D. Tremendous voicework from Ed Asner. This is a cool film and go check it out.

Grinding through the Bar

2009-06-08T21:51:00.000-04:00

Its busy season again. Lot of stuff Im doing now round the clock so its hard to get time to do whatever. I dont want to complain because recently a friend of mine just had some serious stuff go down. Puts it in perspective whats really important and how much you gotta cherish what you have while you have it. So, I will savor every moment with a renewed passion, in honor of those who lost.

Cut That Meat II

2009-05-30T00:34:00.000-04:00

In the Summer of 2007 Richmond and the rest of the world saw the beginning of a contest so intense, it threatened the very way we think about organized society. I refer to, of course, the Cut that Meat Challenge that pitted Dave Esposito against yours truly in a battle of physical prowess and intestinal fortitude.

Espo weighed in at 144 lbs and I weighed in at 184 lbs. The contest was who could get closest to 164 lbs in 8 weeks. No crash dieting, no shortcuts. Just exercise, weight lifting, and balanced dieting. The result saw Dave narrowly take the win by 1.5 lbs, 175.5 to 154.

Now, the gauntlet has been rethrown this time with the starting weights of 148 and 191. The target is 170 lbs.

Place your bets. LET THE GAMES BEGIN

How Crazy is Gary Busey

2009-05-29T17:46:00.000-04:00

I know its popular now to get on the Busey is crazy train, but I must show you this:

Supposedly, this was entirely Ad-libbed. Wow.

Also this:

Play Lottery, Win Tickets?

2009-05-22T19:23:00.000-04:00

REDSKINS TICKETS NOW WORTH MORE THAN GOLD!

Am I the only one who finds this a little ridiculous? Is this just a sweepstakes but with sponsorships of the Skins and the VA Lotto?

Lets take a survey, you can respond below. Would you rather have money, or tickets to a ballgame?

Review: Star Trek (2009)

2009-05-16T00:00:00.001-04:00

Im just getting back from seeing this with my Dad and younger brother. 3 out of 3 said it was good. Im saying it wasnt just good though. That was one of the better movies Ive seen in theaters and maybe ever. Was it perfect? Of course not. But it is right now, movie of the year (its got some tough competition of course).

Im a Star Trek fan. I love the idea of a universe and the course of its history. Im a history major so its really easy for me to ignore the fact some people have multiple eyes and funny noses and see that this is the relations between races like happened here so many years ago. And its got lasers and spaceships... Im not a Trekkie or a Trekker (apparently theres a difference), but I like enough of it to say Im a fan. And honestly if you cant get down with Patrick Stewart as Picard there is something wrong with you. I liked this as a ST fan and as a movie goer
My Dad is a fundamentalist Star Trek fan. He was in school to be an engineer when the first Star Trek was being aired. Hes is a purist. He was calling this Star Trek: 90210. But, when he left, he was impressed. He liked it as a ST fan and as a movie goer.
My brother is not a Star Trek fan at all. He didnt intend to see the movie but went anyways. He liked it.

Where to start? This is not a remake. Im not sure it counts as a reboot. A remake is like what they did with 3:10 to Yuma, taking an old movie and doing it again with a new cast. Other examples are Bad News Bears, The Longest Yard, Dawn of the Dead, or countless others. There are some changes, some minor, some major, but for the most part what you are seeing is the same thing. A reboot on the other hand implies something different. Rebooting is starting over and usually when you are talking about rebooting a series its going to overwrite what came before it, not coexist. Batman Begins comes along and renders what came before it as if it never happened. Also you have the same thing in Casino Royale.

I dont think this Star Trek is either. Its not really a remake because its an all new story. The characters are the same though they are different in some ways. Its not really a reboot even though we are starting over. This Star Trek can and does coexist with what came before it. I dont think I can go into greater detail without massive spoilers. But in the movie the characters even reference that they are in an alternate reality. To me, that means that they do mean to do something different but they arent trying to say "forget the old stuff." Maybe thats more relevant to me than it is to other people but it seems like its important. If its just a reboot or remake we kind of know where this is going. Kirks going to battle Khan, Khan will kill his son, Spock will die saving the Enterprise, and we will get the cast going into the 80s to save the humpback whales (yes, that actually happened in Star Trek IV).

Because they have altered the course of time, none of that has to happen. At the same time, this is the same Enterprise. Lets analyze a little less vaguely. Spock is Spock. Bones is Bones, Sulu Sulu, Uhura Uhura, etc, etc, etc. Even by the end of it, that new guy actually became Kirk. These are the same characters from the 60s TV series, in a new timeline. Just look at them.

For the most part they look the same. They mostly act the same. They have the same backgrounds for the most part. Its really impressive, especially when you consider the other movies being made. X-Men seems to go out of its way to get stuff wrong. For whatever reason, they got it right and it worked. What also helped was the necessary changes/mainstays.

The transporter noise was authentic but the animation was changed. The animation wasnt so different it was bothersome. The sound made it work
The ships looked like the were the real ships but instead of the blinking lights of the 60s they looked as if they perhaps actually had function
The phasers and com-units were the same, again making it feel more authentic.
The catchphrases people were known for were used properly, not in hokey (see "hulk smash") ways
Kirk was boning green chicks

The villain could have been better I think, but he was good as well. I really dont have many complaints. Maybe they could have got more adult looking people to play the main characters to avoid people generalizing with the "this is 90210" knock. But really this was good, it was fun, and it was a proper Star Trek movie. JJ Abrams impressed me so much he can now direct any one of my properties. People getting merc'd left and right, major stuff going down, this felt important and not silly.

Five stars, Full Price, See this in theatres.

Heres a link to the LEGAL youtube channel where you can watch the original series.

Enjoy

Revision and Reclamation: Predator 3 Part 2

2009-05-14T01:42:00.001-04:00

We know nothing about this world - who knows what lurks in this alien jungle?
We are on the outskirts of civilization - how long will it take to get help? Where is da choppa?

Characters: The question becomes who do we feature in the movie. Thomas Jane's character from Deep Blue Sea seems to work here or maybe Van Damme's Chance Boudreaux from my favorite Hard Target. A guy with some run ins with the law, isnt a bad dude, can make moves, but its imperative he actually is a morally strong/good character. Indeed, I think thats what works in P1 and P2, both the protagonists buck the system enough to not be boring, but when faced with true evil, they take issue with it. Arnold gets pissed when he finds out his team was lied to and Jim Hopper was a cover story. Murtagh gets in Busey's face when things start popping off. And thats part of their character that I think we need to see.

If Arnold is a scumbag himself Im not sure his team would be as likable and we wouldnt care when they get offed by the Predator (Like in Doom). So our hero needs to be not a scumbag, and a name: how about Grant (just a placeholder for now)?

So lets give Grant some kind of military training or something to legitimize him. One of the problems with AvP is because the lead (that fine female) didnt seem like she could hang with the danger in the movie. So when the trained soliders get merc'ed easily, it looked a little ridiculous that she could fight not only the aliens, but defeat the Queen. But we dont want to be cliche so we cant have the traditional "he was in the military but was discharged when he found out his captain was secretly trafficking contraband he beat up his captain" or something like that. So what works? Lets just make him a tracker, born and raised. His father or uncle raised him in the bayou or the mountains or something like that. That means hes not going to be tech'd out (this comes into play later) hes going to be more in tune with the jungle than the average person. Now dont think hes going to be speaking to the animals or channeling spirits like Walker Texas Ranger.

Instead of having just one Predator, we are going to have a group of them. 1 Elder, 1 Experienced Captain, 5 or so young inexperienced rookies. Thats a lot of predators yeah, but really only the Elder and the Captain are going to be featured heavily.

Plot: Generally Predator works because its simple. Its the hunt. Competition and Honor. So whatever we do must be loaded with that. I got two ideas

Just remake Predator ... but you do it in the future. Scrap my multiple predator idea, Grant becomes Arnold's character and he goes from tracker to space merc. Its not really creative, but it will work, we know that.
Try something new. You keep with my original idea. Grant is a tracker and leads people on hunting parties to various planets which have great game. Thats really not a wild idea, some people today hire guides and trackers to take them into the wild. Heres where you run into a problem though.

If studios get a hold of it, it will most likely turn into Friday the 13th with Predator in place of Jason. We dont want a slasher film here. We want cat and mouse, we want the hunt. So this is why we cant really have him lead in a group of dbag hunters, we want to be tense when the characters get into hunt with the predators, not cheer for the predators. At the same time we have seen it from the human's perspective. Lets do both. Our main characters are the Predator Captain and Grant. You could do the whole mirroring plotlines with both serving as the trainers of younger warriors (if you make Grant military instead). Thats intresting and probably works but I want to try something else.

We open with a Predator ship. We see a ring with our Elder we mentioned (we have to give him some identifying mark, hes the elder how about some greying hairs - not white, just a few greys thrown in there) fighting another predator. Of course we dont have dialogue, so we cant have the convenient announcer overhead announcing that this fight determines who gets to go on the hunt, the elder's followers, or the other's followers. How do we do this? Storytelling. If you get the chance to check out the old AVP comics from Darkhorse theres a pretty cool version of this though I think it needs to be changed for the big screen (you cant have large threatening monsters in mankinis).

At this point I think its only important that our Elder wins and does so by bending the rules. In a straight up fight he does something along the lines of throwing sand in his opponent's eyes (who is clearly winning the battle) before winning. Here we see that there were multiple groups of followers on the ship and those that follow the Elder are now in elation. The other half gathers up their unconsicous senpai and retreats to their quarters.

From this the elder is showered in adulation from his followers and walks over to a console, where he brings up a projection of the galaxy, zooms into a solar system, zooms into a particular planet (lets call it Altaveq ). Cut to a shot of the classic predator ship hurtling through space towards the planet.

Why do we need to see that? Well, we already know what the predator looks like, we know they hunt and all that stuff. Im not sure you can rely on "oh look its got mandibles" anymore. The predators might need personalities. We also give some glipmses of the predator culture and hierarchy now which will cater to die-hard fans of the series.

Next we shift to Grant, of course humans can speak so he can more directly tell people hes the dopest tracker in the quadrant etc etc. At this point we have to establish hes leading people on hunts on Altaveq (the first time the audience hears the name) and that Altaveq has some big nasty beasts to hunt. It would make sense as it would attract all kinds of hunters. And I think the audience needs to hear that, needs to hear that worthy game attracts all kinds of hunters. The best, the worst, and everyone of them is trying to earn their stripes.

Back to the predators (yeah, we are going to be shifting like this for the entire movie). Our ship lands and shows the Elder suiting up, armed to the teeth with all the gear we have seen in the previous movies. The Captain would suit up next carrying only a minimum of gear. Then the rookies would suit up heavily as well. The party would land and proceed to hunt. What are we hunting? Something alien. Think a cross between a bear/gorilla/rhino. We have to see a rookie mishandle stalking a beast get overwhelmed by one of these bearillos and be on the verge of death when the Captain swoops in an merc's the beast with only hand to hand weaponry and a high level of skill. So we have set up that the Captain is highly skilled and protects his brothers. Together, they strip the beast and roar in celebration of a bagged kill. Of course, we have to do this perfectly or this doesnt work and all without words.

We must also flesh out the Elder's character more. Same set up as before, rookie botches a kill and gets overwhelmed. This time we see Elder watching above but he doesnt swoop in to save the rookie to teach him the lesson about not rushing the stalk. Nope, he lets the bearillo kill (or just severly wound) the rookie. Heres the crucial part, he cant just let it happen. The wounded bearillo is limping away, and Elder swoops in and kills the beast. He takes the skull as a trophy for himself and disposes of the bearillo corpse. This is intended to show that the Elder is capable of hunting just fine, he just no longer values the hunt or honor. By claiming the wounded kill as his own he has committed a dishonorable act. To compound it, he failed to school the rookie properly. Thats a more finite point that may not be communicated fully to the audience. So we need to revisit this scene later.

Back to Grant. Grant would be leading some hunters and pointing out some hunting tips and tendencies. At some point we need to show the audience evidence of what makes him the best tracker around. Think Daniel Day Lewis's character from Last of the Mohicans. Moves easily through the fauna, can track anything, etc. However you decide to show he is the best doesnt really matter so long as you have the group of cloaked predators observe just how sweet Grant is, making him the real target of the hunt. You could do a tracking sequence where both the humans and the predators are tracking the same target (something other than a bearillo). Of course the preds are invisible and "in dem treeeeees" so the humans dont notice them. The elder would give the order to hold positions as they observe Grant in action. So we have established both that Grant is the best game in town and that Grant now is the focus of the hunt. Of course here Grant looks up and knows there is something there but cant see it.

Next is Grant taking his party back to the "lodge." He drops off his old party and waiting for him in a bunch of douchey business types looking to kill something. They hear hes the best, they want him to act as guide so they can hunt some beasts. Grant refuses, stating that those things arent in season. The dbags try to convince him with money, some promises of riches and the ever so tired "do you know who I am" or "Im an important man with important friends." Hell, it might be kind of cool here to throw a woman in this role, it might work even better (with the right dialogue). Grants friend (eh, Chuck?) offers to take them out. Grant is concerned, but Chuck offers up the info that hes going to take them on some wild goose chase, they will shoot at shadows, but there wont be any danger. Watching overhead are the predators.

We see Chuck leading the dbag hunters around. Drinking and generally being unpleasant, they make it easy for Chuck to lead them around in circles. Here is where youd have the Captain happen upon the body of the fallen rookie and investigate. He would find signs of a battle, claw marks in trees, blood on the rookie's weapons, etc. He wouldnt necessarily put together that the Elder let the rookie die, but something is fishy. Cut back to the Chuck lead party walking right into an Elder lead ambush. The preds slaughter the dbags and take Chuck to use as bait. This has to be done with the bulk of the violence either being unseen or quick so it doesnt turn into a slasher film. Of course the next day no one has seen Chuck so Grant goes to find Chuck. He finds signs of battle and very obvious tracks leading him into a semi obvious trap.

Grant literally sees Chuck dangling like some cheese from a rope. Before it can be sprung, Grant realizes this is indeed a trap and manages to avoid certain death. Does Chuck live? I think so, but you dont have to have him live. What follows next is where my idea really takes off. If this is a 2 hour movie, this pretty much happens right after the hour mark. The rest of the movie has no dialogue. Its pure hunt. Not pure action. Pure hunt. We do The Most Dangerous Game with Grant trying to outmatch the dishonorable Elder, the Captain, and the surviving rookies. Can it work? Yeah, look at Apocalypto which had dialogue but really the final act of the movie is just pure hunt and its sweet. Bring in all kinds of traps and tracking tricks. Bring in Indian consultants to make sure its legit tracking.

Who lives, Who dies? At least one more rookie has to die, preferably via a MDG trap laid by Grant. You could do another one where a rookie looses his cool and the elder reprimands him. Of course he could take it too far and kill the rookie in front of the Captain who cannot act yet as he is still honor bound. The major development has to come when finally the Captain cannot take the dishonor of the Elder anymore. Again, Im not sure it matters. Have him steal another kill, or smash a trophy someone has collected. You could do a sweet Elder vs. Captain fight but thats not really what I want. You really want to see Grant and the Elder dance so we have to give it to the audience. I think you could have the Cap take the remaining rookies and turn their backs on the Elder (especially if he has killed a rookie unjustifiably), leaving the Elder and Grant the only ones in the jungle to battle to the death. Careful, if you have Grant kill everyone with little to no trouble, it delegitimizes the Predators as a threat, so its imperative that he narrowly escape death where the normal person gets iced and he can only kill a few by chance almost.

The final battle plays out how you think it would. 2 Warriors just like at the end of Predator trying to out guile the other. If you want to be corny you could have Captain come into the battle and save Grant from certain doom but Id rather not. Id have Grant win via a trap like in Predator and as hes laying exhausted from battle have Captain decloak. Grant gets up thinking he is being attacked only to have Captain detach the Elder's necklace (that hes been wearing all movie) and toss it to Grant. Grant takes it and gives Captain an ornament that hes had all movie long. 2 Warriors acknowledge the mutual honorable respect and part ways having learned that honor can cross the species barrier.

Pros and Cons: This is ambitious. Its going to take vision and balls. If you do it right you get a sweet story. If you do it wrong, you get a hollow summer movie. Its going to work at least on the "i wanna see sumthin get sliced up" level. Thats going to happen regardless. If you manage the PG-13, which is possible in Predator, youve got a movie that could potentially make you $200M+ and breath new life into the Predator, Alien, and AVP series all while being a sweet movie.

It could also struggle because we are trying to give the Predators character without giving them dialogue. It could work, or it could fail. I still think a bad Predator movie makes $100M so Im not too worried there. Youd need every action that the Predators make to be full of purpose, almost like an interpretative dance. Sounds weird, but if you dont do it, Im not sure the Predator half of the movie works. If you dont like the whole idea of giving the Predator's character, you cut out that part of it and you just do a 90 minutes movie about the Preds hunting Grant. Either way you have Grant who has lived to tell the tale and is ready to jump to AvP along with the Captain.

Revision and Reclamation: Predator 3?

2009-05-13T18:58:00.001-04:00

Review: Wolverine

2009-05-02T02:03:00.001-04:00

I dont remember the first time I saw Wolverine. I know I was young though. Always amonst my favorite characters ever, Wolverine has a place in my heart and honestly shaped alot of my views of good and honor. For roughly 20 years Ive followed Wolverine's saga. Like plenty other people the announcement of the Wolverine movie came with some extreme mixed emotions.

I was elated. Finally, one of my favorites was going to have a big budget movie. At the same time, I dreaded it. I dreaded it because of what the major movies of Transformers, X-Men, Spiderman, the Hulk, and nearly every cross media property. Wolverine is one of the last pillars of my childhood and for a Wolverine to be unwatchable? That would be really hard to take...

That wasnt the case. This movie was actually pretty watchable, though maybe for the wrong reasons. I left the theater smiling, waxing nostalgic. And everyone in the theater seemed to like it too. Maybe this actually was a good movie... or at least a fun movie.

To understand my view on the movie I think you have to understand my mindset going into the movie. I had seen so many movies with good potential get turned into garbled imitations for the big screen (Transformers). At the same time I had seen other movies that diverged so unnecessarily from the source material that it failed to acheive the theme/soul of the source. I told myself I was going to try to experience it as if I didnt have nearly 170 issues of Wolverine in continuity. So rather than be like "this character wouldnt be alive" or "his power doesnt work like that" I wanted to see how someone would view this without my knowledge.

And for the average movie go-er, thats a solid flick. For me... thats a watchable yet forgettable flick. It had action, tried to show some development in plot and characters, cool themes, some other stuff too. Did they get alot wrong? Yeah sure. But most of it was kind of minor stuff: someone's look, someone's name, a stance, etc. What held this back from being a great movie was the changes to the spirit of Wolverine.

Spoilers ahead!

When Deadpool didnt have his trademark mask/costume that was a bit of a miss. But what Deadpool is really about is total disregard for the norms we accept. And what little we saw of Deadpool seemed to back that up. He didnt salute, he did a half assed salute handflip. He had a constant banter that pissed off everyone. It wasnt perfect, but its an ok base. Ive heard that Weapon XI isnt meant to be Deadpool so Im ommititng that.

When Wolverine walks away from the crashed helicopter in slo motion as it blew up... Im not sure that was really in the spirit of Wolverine. Im not saying that Wolverine would kill Zero or wouldnt - theres a time when the character would have done either. The walking away in slo-mo? Thats my problem. Does Wolverine do preposterously cool stuff and hit people with sweet one liners? Well, yeah. But for me, that stuff was always on the side. Not that it was secondary at all, but the centerpieces of Wolverine (when its good) are the relationships and the action. But the action was reliant on the relationships, not necessarily the other way around.

When Wolverine fought Sabretooth in issue #90, its a tremendous battle and its sweet. Its sweet aesteically and it means something. You have Sabretooth vs. Wolverine who are linked in so many ways, you have Wolverine's stuggle with his nature/humanity/rage, you have the threat of Sabretooth's escape (Sabretooth threatens to attack all the women important to Logan one by one), and whatever else you want to acknowledge. And it turns sweet action into an epic battle.

That wasnt the case in the film and to its credit its just one film, how epic can you get in one film (Dark F'N Knight)? For whatever reason, the movie just isnt that epic. The villain isnt super evil, Wolverine's cause isnt super great, and its not one of those things where you are meant to empathize with the villain or illustrate the flaws in the hero. Indeed, the goal of the villains here really arent super clear nor is Wolverine shown in a different light The Villain here is Colonel William Stryker from X2 (really hes from God Loves Man Kills but I digress) and in the movie his motives really arent too clear. Theres the Weapon X program, but Im not sure if it was the same Weapon X of old, the more recent Weapon Plus, some combination of the two, or something else entirely. Not knowing the intention of the program didnt allow me to dread its fruition

Further, the storytelling isnt great either. Alot of other things either dont sync with the other movies or arent clear. Everyone seems to fully understand both that their abilities come through mutancy and what mutants are. But there isnt the residual "humanity being threatened by the mutant threat." Maybe its just me but I had trouble with that. Im not sure the story works. The world cant casually talk about mutants in the X stories. Characters pop in and out with no real importance; they look just like empty fan service. At that point, if youre just going to play fan service, why depart from the comics at all? Maybe thats a rant for another time I smell another Reclamation post...

Then again shit blew up, I didnt find myslef questioning it. [Edit] I saw it again, some casting brought this down. That tool as Gambit or that guy playing this toolish Gambit? Awful. Everything he was in, dragged or just looked out of place. His action sequences were so dated and unspectacular. And Will.I.am playing a gay cowboy was distractingly bad. His voice was awful too, though I cant quite pin down where Ive heard a crappy voice like that. It was like "What if Blade had a gay midget clone?"

What hold it back from being an even better movie? Little things like Amnesia Bullets, akward action sequences, and some weird shots. I wont talk about the Amnesia Bullets but I will say...

I recommend that movie, honestly. Its fun, but its fun like how an old Seagal movie is fun. Some really cheesey stuff, some people get iced, everyone goes home happy. And thats kind of depressing. It could have been something really special. It was like a docudrama/biopic like one of those movies on like Hallmark or something with Treat Williams

So many small changes seemed to lose the sprit of Wolverine. Doesnt mean its not a fun watch. In the end it was like watching a solid/good Wolverine in a bad action movie with a few key scenes. Some scenes got it right, some got it wrong. Net effect? Ok movie, fun time, but entirely forgetable. Like a sucker I look foward to Wolverine 2 and Deadpool.

Red Onions

2009-04-30T17:28:00.000-04:00

Are dope. Im using them in almost everything in place of shallots and any other onion Id normally use. Real sweet, good and tender, and on sale.

Blog Embargo aka Emblogo

2009-04-20T13:04:00.000-04:00

It is that time of the year. Stuff is ramping up. I just havent got that much time to do much so blogging has gone out the window.

What have I been doing? Real world stuff. Getting my adult on.

Fun stuff Ive been getting into in the spare seconds:

The Spoony Experiment: A great site. A guy named Noah started this site up years ago and theres tons and tons of hillarious original content. I cant get enough of this stuff. Movie reviews, game reviews, pop culture critiques, etc. Example: Hes giving an elongated (scathing) review of Final Fantasy 8, but hes not just saying "this sucks." Hes showing with in game references what sucks and whats totally lame. He has a FMV game review series. Not to mention hes built up his own lore and references enough to have merchandise that is actually funny and good. Im not sure how much he actually makes off of it, but the fact that hes built up his blog's ism astonishes me. Maybe, one day, The Memoirs, will have such life. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have.

http://www.spoonyexperiment.com/

http://thespoonyone.blip.tv/

Spill: Mostly movie reviews from these guys but they are hillarious. Genuinely funny guys who appear as cartoons. Cue hillairous cartoon hijinx. They also do specials and original content on their website, some really awesome stuff there.

http://www.spill.com/
http://www.youtube.com/user/spillcom

Hopefully by mid-week Ill be back on schedule blogging in my spare time.

Call Back, Back On?

2009-04-09T00:56:00.000-04:00

I have fought with Call Back for a long time. A very long time. I made notes, planned, and outlined the entire series for literally years. From an idea in 1997 to a recurring dream in 1999 to the vision of an epic story. Call Back was initially not truly tough early on. As soon as I put pen to paper I felt as though the story filled itself in. From permutations of experiences to personal theories of the cosmic, it took very little by way my literary talents to make what felt like an cosmically epic tale with incredibly mundane roots.

I was hesitant, but I jumped into writing it. And it flowed. It felt right, good. And then I hit a wall. And then a year went by. I thought it was writers block. I poured myself into new ideas, seperate from the Call Back universe. The product was some of my best work probably ever. Even now, as a side hobby this blog continues to grow. Maybe a few hours a week is all I put into it. Call Back on the other hand has been left untouched. Why? Because I cant write it.

Is it writers block? I dont think so, my other stuff gets written. Academically Ive churned out 35+ page papers. Ive got close to 50 blog posts. etc

It seems more a problem related to the material of CB. I lost my notebook containing 90% or more of my notes about CB. But I still dont think thats the problem. I remember all of it. Hell, I lived it.

The real problem is its a memoir about a life. 3 years is not a terribly long time. But 3 years ago for me... I was in a different place. And my life meant something different to me. As Ive grown away from that existence, that way of existence, writing about that life is very difficult. As I said before I remember what CB is supposed to look like. I remember the concepts and the events that are supposed to be presented. I just dont understand them anymore. I remember looking at my notes (prior to losing them) and struggling to decipher notes which I remember clearly making sense before. Some of it was so trite it was silly. I couldnt understand how I could have thought anyone would enjoy/learn/understand it. It was like looking at half the picture; I couldnt make the entire picture make sense anymore. So Call Back became not just hard, but an impossibility.

Yet, recently things have changed abit. I dont feel like those 3 years are that long. I dont feel so distant from where I was then. Though I dont have the physical notes anymore, I remember. And I understand. I remember what Call Back is really about. And so I think I will try to write it again. I may not like being back where I was. It feels a bit like dancing with the devil in the red dress. But if you are going to dance with the devil, the least you can is dance well.

MRC Spotlight: King Solomon's Mines (1950)

2009-04-06T13:30:00.000-04:00

Dated. Lets get one thing clear. King Solomon's Mines was very popular at its release, supposedly.

But that movie just doesnt seem like anything special by todays standard. Dont get me wrong, Im not saying it cant compare to the filler sort of movies like Sahara. Im saying it doesnt compare to movies like Indiana Jones. And at that point Im not sure Im saying much - most movies cant compare to IJ.

Loosely based off the eponymous 1885 novel by Henry Rider Haggard, the plot follows Allan Quartermain in his adventure on an epic search. Well, semi-epic. I havent read the book, which of course is highly regarded and is considered to have launched the "Lost World" genre of literature. Having never thumbed through the book, I cant say how much better or even worse either form is. Lets also acknowledge that the book has been adapted to film at least 6 times.

The movie follows Quartermain as he is approached by a lady, looking for her lost husband, Curtis, who was last thought to be venturing into an unexplored region of Africa. Of course he was searching for King Solomon's fabled diamond mines, yes, King Solomon like Old Testament King Solomon. A kind of cool idea I think. My problem with the movie was the underwhelming nature of the film. Its kind of cliche laden and I found the acting quite flat. See if this trailer gets your blood pumping.

Example: Curtis's wife is initially very done up. Corsets and that sort of thing. Of course that stuff isnt suited for African Safari and after complaining/almost fainting, Quartermain scolds her for her traditional style of dress. She goes behind a rock and changes clothes. Not before a giant (crappy looking) spider jumps onto her overcoat. We all know where this is going. She comes out to show that she is now ready to roll out. Quartermain knows about the giant spider so he tells her to be still and quickly (and cliche heroically) swats away the spider. Cue Mrs. Curtis's near fainting shock.

Heres a similar scene from my favorite action movie of all time, Hard Target

This sort of thing happens constantly. Woman goes to sleep. Beast threatens her. Man steps in heroically as woman screams in paralyzing terror. I thought the portrayal of the Africans was bad to mediocre. They dont really show them all to be Africans but there is absolutely no strong African character, no one on equal playing field to any of the European characters. Why is this important? When Quartermain's best man is killed, hes just another fatality in the movie. The audience isnt given anything to connect his loss with any significant feelings. That is in a nutshell the problem with the movie. Cliche laden happenings that fail to drum up real sensation in the audience.

Maybe 59 years ago this was a sensational movie. Today, its kind of crappy and really tame. The props dont look good, even for the time. The action is really tame, again, even by the standards of then. I have seen movies from the 30's and 40's which looked better and caused more tension. Even the "Greatest Romance" is super tame and honestly, there isnt much to support that claim of it being romance at all. I was disappointed by this to say the least. I dont really think you are missing much by skipping this itteration of King Solomon's Mines.