How to Weather the Economic Maelstrom: Stop Wearing Bluetooth Headsets

With the economy sinking faster and further by the day, people are wondering what they can do to better weather the storm. Try this:

Stop Wearing Bluetooth headsets. Read: Not stop using headsets.

Now I will admit, I hate the wireless headset fad for personal reasons. But lets be honest here, wireless headsets took off in the last like 1-2 years. The economy wasnt great, but was ok till the last year or so, then the wheels fell off. Lets take a look at the corrolation.

Clearly the intended target for the wireless headset was the super busy businessperson. These business people could obtain the benefit in mobility and free hands while staying in communication with their peers. Thats not what we see though. No, we see people walking around the mall, walking with their dog, etc while yapping away on their headsets.

Why is this bad for the economy? Instead of being aware of your surroundings, you are busy yapping with someone about something that really isnt relevant. So you end up wandering around, talking to yourself rather then making moves. Lets be honest, how many of you wear headsets while doing work? Exactly. If your making moves while wearing your headset, youre good to go. If not, try taking that headset off.

You going to return something at the mall? An argyle sweater? Yeah, leave your bluetooth in the car. Rather than lollygagging at the mall, go make moves, return your sweater, be out. Since you have been quicker in the mall, you have more time to make more moves. It also helps to bifrucate your personal matters, your social life, and your professional life. Now your personal time can be used to handle personal stuff, letting you relax, which should help you sleep better at night to make you more effective in the game.

The 2nd real point is Social Preservation.

Yes its from the Onion. Yes its most likley its photoshopped. But its still poignant. Let me tell you an anecdote. I was at the local drive thru, getting a milkshake. As I waited for my hand-spun shake, a Cadillac drove quickly by me. The Cadillac pulled into a parking spot and sat there, motionless, its passengers a mystery to all. Minutes later the driver exited the car; he was wearing a bluetooth headset. Seconds later he was followed by the passenger of the car, a woman wearing a 2nd bluetooth headset.

They were both on bluetooth headsets in the car. Were they both talking on bluetooths whilst driving around town? Were they talking to each other via bluetooth headsets while in the same car? This cannot be good for America, nay, the world. I saw a man talking on a bluetooth at his nephew's college graduations. Again, this cant be good. The Bluetooth invasion could mean the death of personal lives as people will forget common social courtesy like speaking to you guests or engaging those around you in casual conversation. So I implore you, only use your bluetooth while conducting business. For the children.